Day 25 11/15/11: I worked out a lot last night and came home really tired. I slept pretty solid and woke up at night with a fairly decent erection. This morning I woke up to a morning wood of maybe 25% at best. I was pleased to at least have some type of progress down there. Had a bit of anxiety when I woke up but I got over it. I noticed that I was pretty social today. I talked with a lot of different girls, both striking up random conversations and talking about class. I felt surprisingly outgoing. I'm gonna go work out and then get to work on school. I'm LOVING the progress I'm making.
Day 22 11/12/11: Woke up to no morning wood and zero libido. I woke up randomly during the night and had an erection so at least there is some activity going on. No real urges to pmo or mo. It's been weird. I've gone from being really wired and active to feeling constantly tired. Thankfully I haven't had any anxiety today, however; today is Saturday so the lack of interacting with people could be an explanation as to why I feel relatively relaxed. Gonna nap for a bit, work out, and do some hw.
11/9/11 Day 19: I slept very little last night. I kept tossing and turning. Woke up feeling apathetic and continue to feel that way. Zero libido. Morning wood was 40% at best. Some anxiety but not overwhelming. I've read that a lot of people feel more relaxed as this process goes on. I really hope I get that feeling. Unless I'm crunched for time I'm planning to start walking to my classes instead of taking the bus. I feel like getting myself outside will help me in a number of ways. In my latest attempt to abstain from MO I have noticed the following things....
11/7/11 DAY 17: I'm feeling surprisingly well following my relapse yesterday. I haven't been around too many people today so my anxiety is relatively low today. No morning wood but I'm not too surprised. Two MO sessions in one day definitely hindered the progress. Something that I find surprising is how sensitive I feel physically. I'm not touching myself however when I inevitably feel my jeans and boxers interact with my groin I feel incredibly sensitive. It's weird. I've read from a successful YBOP accounts that one guy felt a similar feeling when he was driving one day.
DAY 12 11/2/11: I'm feeling pretty low today. I think I may have entered my flatline. I haven't felt much all day. My anxiety has been up and down and I really don't want to do anything but go home and sleep. I can't help but think how much time I've wasted from pmo. It is pathetic and embarrassing. I feel like I've literally wasted the majority of my college life hiding behind anxiety and copulatory ED, using pmo as a temporary fix. I can't do anything but wait this out and hope that things take a turn for the better.
DAY TEN 10/31: Today is the morning after my MO slip up. I am glad to say that I have not had a bad chaser effect. I woke up "intact" :) so I'm happy about that. I've noticed that the more distance I have from PMO, especially P and visual stimuli the better I feel and the more frequent my morning wood is. With the exception of this blog I've deleted my accounts to all other social networking sites. Getting away from the bombardment of pictures, music, videos, newsfeeds, and overwhelming ad banners will only help me.
About me: I started MOing when I was 13-14 and PMOing right around the same time. I had no interaction with girls at all in high school. It wasn't until the very end of my freshman year in college that I had my first kiss. Over the next five months I had a good phase with girls. I "hooked up" with another few girls in the summer and returned to school for my sophomore year. I ended up meeting a girl. The first night we hung out we hooked up. Several days later we had sex and I lost my virginity in an awful fashion.