What are your thoughts on massages etc

Submitted by reincarnation on
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So I was doing pretty great on day 17 of no PMO.

Unfortunately I had a heavy workout in the morning and muscles were really sore - to the point that I had a headache. I badly needed a massage and figured that since I am paying for one, might as well get one of those happy ending massages. I thought since I am with a woman, it wouldn't count as a relapse.

The positive effect is I did get a happy ending - which was an alltime first for me with a woman, so that was progress. However, the next day it resulted in chaser effect and multiple solo relapses.

When I thought about it, the happy ending at the massage place was same as masturbation (even if it was with a woman) because -
1. The initial stimulation was not due to foreplay, I basically closed my eyes and fantasized about someone else - same as during masturbation
2. The happy ending came from a handjob- same as masturbating even if it is a woman's hand.

Which basically led me to the conclusion that the massage parlor happy ending was a relapse as it was same as masturbation and not to be repeated during abstinence.

So my questions are -
1. What are you thoughts on this subject ?
2. What would you consider as acceptable sex and what would be relapsing/masturbation as there seems to be a very thin line? What would be the differentiating factor between the two ? For e.g. if a woman gives you a BJ or a HJ, she is artificially climaxing you, so it really seems the same as masturbation. The only thing different appears to be traditional sex.


I was just going through some

I was just going through some of the other articles and I guess the key difference is "bonding".

When you pay for it, there's no bonding, its just for money. On the other hand, even if you pick up a drunk girl for just a one night stand, there is still bonding for one night since both "want" it.

Yes I think that is right

Without a connection with a woman, it is just pretty much like masturbation. However, a massage without a sexual component can be a good thing. It can help your brain get much needed touch by a woman. As that spills over into an ejaculation, not so helpful at that point.

I'd go for a non-sexual massage next time.

I agree too

You could even look for one of those tantra massages that stimulate other parts of the body rather than the sexual organs, and tell the massagist not to stimulate your sexual organ. The problem is it will easily become a slippery situation, as in those places they may also offer happy ending massages etc...

The best, as Emerson pointed out, will be to go for non-sexual massages if you feel you need some intimate touch, and practice keep practicing and strengthening bonding behaviours with your family members, pet, friends, etc...