So I was doing pretty great on day 17 of no PMO.
Unfortunately I had a heavy workout in the morning and muscles were really sore - to the point that I had a headache. I badly needed a massage and figured that since I am paying for one, might as well get one of those happy ending massages. I thought since I am with a woman, it wouldn't count as a relapse.
The positive effect is I did get a happy ending - which was an alltime first for me with a woman, so that was progress. However, the next day it resulted in chaser effect and multiple solo relapses.
When I thought about it, the happy ending at the massage place was same as masturbation (even if it was with a woman) because -
1. The initial stimulation was not due to foreplay, I basically closed my eyes and fantasized about someone else - same as during masturbation
2. The happy ending came from a handjob- same as masturbating even if it is a woman's hand.
Which basically led me to the conclusion that the massage parlor happy ending was a relapse as it was same as masturbation and not to be repeated during abstinence.
So my questions are -
1. What are you thoughts on this subject ?
2. What would you consider as acceptable sex and what would be relapsing/masturbation as there seems to be a very thin line? What would be the differentiating factor between the two ? For e.g. if a woman gives you a BJ or a HJ, she is artificially climaxing you, so it really seems the same as masturbation. The only thing different appears to be traditional sex.