What is the longest you guys have gone without MO ?

Submitted by reincarnation on
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So I relapsed yesterday after 7 days and I am trying to stay positive. There are times like these when you wonder if abstaining from masturbation is really possible ?

The longest I have been able to go without MO has been 10 days. I would like to know what is the longest the others have been able to go without MO? It would make the rest of us feel positive if we knew it was a feasible goal.Also does it become easier/tougher to control as time progresses ?

Comments

it all depends

the key to conquering habits is replacing them with other habits.

And the key to replacing a habit with another is to replace the JOB that habit has been doing in your life.

The job of masturbation can be:

alleviating boredom

falling asleep

reducing stress

making it less hollow not spending time with a woman

etc.

So, if you are going to quit, you need to find something ELSE to do those jobs.

If you do, all is well.

If you don't , then it isn't so easy and will be unlikely to work out.

The BEST thing I have found is to spend a lot of time in so-called "bonding behaviors" -- this builds up the hormone Oxytocin which helps you feel calmer and makes habits easier to break.

In fact, daily snuggling has made it easy for me to quit porn and masturbation completely and for a long time. The bonding we do and the non-orgasmic intercourse has made it very easy for me not to masturbate and I am so much better off because of it. I am of the opinion that you are much more likely to meet women if you do not masturbate. And you are more likely to have everything in your life pan out better.

You are making great progress! It is very disheartening sometimes to compare yourself to others. Just keep on keeping on  and do the best you can. And the sooner you can snuggle with a girl and get that all going, the easier it will all become.

 

 

Thanks for the kind words.

Thanks for the kind words. For me it is basically an addiction. e.g. I was doing well till yesterday and when I relapsed yesterday , I ended up doing it 4 times.

I am single right now so its tough to find a snuggle/cuddle buddy.

@Curious fellow - I read your

@Curious fellow - I read your story and it is very inspiring . Thanks for the spreading positivity around here.

@Marnia - Thanks for the kind words and advice. I know about the chaser effect but its easier than done when one is in relapse mode.

Meditation Helps!

Hello: I've been meditating consistently for 13 months now. I have cut back on MO dramatically (90% less?). Sometimes I go a couple of months and don't realize it. I scarcely look at porn either. I am POSITIVE this is due to my meditating (twice a day for about 15 minutes each). You might want to try it? Also, I have learned how to have "dry" orgasms (sans ejaculation). I don't feel that I've "given up" anything! PM me for any questions, as I'm happy to help. Thanks.

Thanks for mentioning this

Years ago when I experimented with meditation, I realized looking backward, that I had also cut back on masturbating. (This was before I realized it was messing with my mood.)

My point is that it just happened naturally. I wasn't even trying because I had no conscious reason to cut back.

How to replace M?

I'm not a man, but for a woman it can be as tough as for a man to stay sober. But believe it or not - the longest I have made it without M and O was 2 1/2 years!

Today I'm on day 12 after a relapse, and I almost fell again last night. I'm thankful that I didn't, but I'm aware of the dangers. In general, keeping myself busy really helps. There is lot's for me to do at my work place, and I'm also involved in church ministries. This I have found is actually the best replacement if you don't have a spouse to cuddle/sleep with: to immerse myself in unselfish ministry for others. If I show the love of Christ to others by helping them, encouraging them, caring for them, etc., I even tend to get the feeling that I don't need anything else on this earth to be happy. Of course my hunger for touch etc. is tremendous, and getting hugs from friends and church members is just not enough to satisfy it (it's non-sexual touch after all), but distracting myself with other things (and also exercise), really helps to forget about it.

This guy reminded me

that meditation works really well. If you prefer prayer, can you do equivalent time praying?

http://www.reuniting.info/comment/84086#comment-84086

Remember, the key is to work from within (increased balance), rather than fight with yourself. But it can be tough on your own, especially when a new potential mate is on the horizon.

Just notice if the fantasizing makes you hornier or not. Once you get that it increases the torture, there's more of a motivation to avoid it. Smile

here's how I meditate sometimes

I focus my attention on my root, the part I am conscious of in my perinueum, where my penis starts inside me. And put my attention on feeling that. And when my mind wanders, gently bring it back to that.

Anything you meditate on and bring your mind back to, is good. You can do this focusing 100% on your walk, while walking, or a sound. The key is to focus on something that is not the mind, some thing or activity that repeats or is just there.

That's my take on meditation anyway.

Thanks !

I managed to go 17 days in August, so my longest streak increased from 10 days to 17. It's a gradual trend I have noticed. After I am done with relapsing,chaser effect etc and start a new run, I usually manage to beat my previous best.

I am currently on day 9 and hoping to beat my previous best.

what is the longest the others have been able to go without MO?

70 days so far. In that process right now. (The following is from my experience only. Not speaking for anyone else.)
Does it get easier? Yes.
Are there moments of temptation? Yes.
Do I look at things differently now that I'm no longer a compulsive masturbator? Yes.

The rebalancing process for me has been very real. In 70 days my brain is working differently than it has since I can remember especially in the area of sex. For me, it's 3 dimensional sex vs. 2 dimensional sex. I haven't yet experienced 3 dimensional sex since I've been rebalancing but am preparing for the opportunity. A positive byproduct of rebalancing is that interpersonal relationships (again, for me) are improved because I'm focused on what's real not simply what I imagine. 2 dimensional sex (porn, fantasy, masturbation etc.) crept into all my relationships in a way. I thought that the way I "saw" things was the way they actually were. My brain provided explanations of other people's behavior, rightly or wrongly, and there was no one to tell me otherwise since this was all going on in my head alone like 2 dimensional sex is an invention which only I created. This lead me to filter what went on in my life through my preconceived notions of the way things were, or more accurately, the way I saw them or wanted them to be. It's pretty lonely living one's life inside your own head all the time.

So, yes, it does get easier. The suggestions others have made are all good ones. Be prepared to look at the world in a different way. Your brain will change and for me, so far, that's been a good thing.

Time without MO and meditation.

Hi Reincarnation,

I haven't accurately kept track but many months certainly fits with the length of time between MO's for me.

When I feel the urge, that's when I get curious. What is going on in my life that I feel I have to dump my energy? Usually there is something going on in my life that is stirring up a deeply rooted fear in me. Usually it's a woman. Usually there is no way to connect with her in a way that is healthy and yet I'm afraid of being attractive to her. I find this approach to dealing with MO rewarding. I tend to be less judgmental of myself, less concerned with the outcome, less goal oriented, and more curious, more interested.

There is a really interesting approach to meditation that I think you might find valuable. Check out this web page:

http://www.messagefrommasters.com/Meditation/Meditation_Techniques/Darsh...

Osho described an approach to meditation that helped people who were struggling with smoking. I use a similar approach when dealing with MO.

I hope this helps.

Sincerely,

"Arnold"