day 103 just some thoughts.

Submitted by riselikethephoenix09 on
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Just droppin by to empty out the excess thoughts in my head.

2 days away from 15 weeks, man that's along time. This reboot has been a long road. Mentally I feel better day by day. Libido has shown significant improvements though ever fluctuating. It overall feels like I've been on the uphill for the majority of the past 3 weeks.

The only thing I am missing is just ONE full blown boner induced from the touch of a woman. That is my goal. That is how I know I am rebooted or at least riding the downhill slope down to it from there.
I still have great confidence. Just want to know if there's anything I'm not already doing that can better myself and this process along the way.

Also, I am having trouble getting this girl out of my head. Not the girl i am dating and getting physical with, but the girl I've known and been friends with for 10 years. That talk we had still rings in my head. Everything she said. To go 10 years and go through all the things that we went through and her tell me that she was in love with me. Just like I was with her. You don't ever hear that. When have you first of all known a girl to get past the friend zone? haha Let alone the girl of your true affection. 10 years of trying to wrap your head around the fact she only sees you as a brother and nothing more and she throws a curveball at you out of nowhere saying that she feels the same way you do? Intense. A lot of feelings resurface. I'm not jumping the gun with her. We kissed and shared a lot of intimate eye contact, but nothing escalated. I told her, not now, but one day we are going to end up together. If destiny kept us together through 10 years of trials to bring us to this point, we should trust that destiny will take care of the rest for us. She seemed a little reluctant to accept it. But i just don't want to ruin our friendship or possibly jump into something that would ultimately spoil what we truly have. She already is talking to another guy just like i'm talking to the girl i am (kesty is her name for future reference). So the conversation basically ended with the idea of finishing what we started with the people we are dating, and have this conversation again later.

sorry if this just turned into a journal entry. just a lot on my mind with this slow reboot to add on.

Thank you all for your support. If any of you are past the century mark feel free to chat with me and share experience. I'd like to think it helps you all as much as it helps me.

Comments

Tough situation

but I think you're right. If it's meant to be, then it will happen.

For now, however, give your full attention to your current sweetie, and make the relationship as healing for both of you as possible.

I'm visualizing a spontaneous boner, surprise but some guys ease into progress, and spontaneous boners aren't a big part of their recovered sexuality. In short, let your body heal its own way.

recovering, i laughed my ass

recovering, i laughed my ass off when i first read that before going to my 99 day post. i know what you mean now though bro, i'm game to give it a shot. thanks.

marnia-i'm assuming that's the link to it. i'll check it out.