So much to post about but I have little to say..
So about april i was at my peak of my reboot. I thought that the next encounter with a female would be a successful one. unfortunately i was wrong.
At the end of april I got frisky with this girl and she gave me a full body massage with this lube I got. I was a little nervous but nothing unusual. Touch felt great but the more she moved up my legs and teased my..stuff.. i felt excited mentally, aroused even, but unresponsive.
She flips me over and grinds her naked body over me and and i can tell she's like, "Am I not sexy or something?". so she lubes me up and starts to jerk me and i am totally relaxed and in bliss but...limp. I bust in about 30 seconds but it was amazing. I wasn't hard til I came. I left her place slightly worried and embarrassed. It had been 5 months and still ed. As for the mental, I felt aroused, but without the erection it was more of an empty feeling. Like seein tits on hbo. That's how I knew I STILL wasn't rebooted. I waited about another month and ended up masturbating. And then two weeks, then one week. So by june I had MO'd 3 times. All to sensation. I kept truckin not thinkin about it, trying to interact with girls, which are hard to come by at this time for some reason. Now today, I come back after 3 months of no posting to tell you I fully relapsed 3 times today. PMO. Ashamed? Yup. It's been 7 full months with out a single glance at porn and I caved 3 times in 4 hours. Not to mention I've been on a spree of MO the past 7 days and today must have been the mother of all chasers. Porn crept in. The thing is, everytime I MO'd to sensation the past 7 days, I was able to reach a full erection, at least 90%.
To keep from ranting, I guess the moral of this post is to say I made it 7 full months with no porn and I am ok with that. As opposed to my 8 years of everyday twice a day madness. My goal is to meet a new girl and rewire my brain because I think I didn't get enough contact with my ex-fuck buddy that I never fucked (get the inuendo?). Maybe hit her up again. I just want my mojo back and to see that light at the end of the tunnel again. I'm goin to vegas in 2 weeks and I'd really like a functioning dick to go along with my swagger.
Back on the wagon. Reboot Round II.