I am currently trying to approach a woman I am dating with the strategies of karezza. I have had a few successes, but a few flops as I am going through the dip of withdrawal. My first effort in this relationship has been to stop having sex with other people. For the first 6 weeks, I continued to have sex with other women I have been dating. This has not been ideal, but I have used sex in the way that I would use porn-to handle and cover my emotions in dealing with the relationship. We had sex one week ago and I had sex with someone else 6 days ago and I have not touched PMO at all in a month. I have been slowly decreasing sex with other people since I met her, but I am now trying to remove it all. Like removing porn, I am going to feel some vulnerability without my crutch.
She wants to not have sex because she feels conflicted because she is a Christian. We try, but we still end up doing it. To be honest, I am having a hard time not having that form of expression of intimacy with someone I'm romantically involved with. I get insecure not having that type of reassurance, but I know that this is superior to my normal way of operating. I'm just not at all used to it and my recent dating practices have not been all that supportive of this kind of relationship. I don't really expect it to work, I'm shooting myself in the foot a lot right now because I'm constantly in withdrawals, and withdrawals and women don't always bring out the best, but I am trying to do this nonetheless.
I can feel her pulling away, but this whole thing is reminding me of where I need to put my mind while I am dating. Things are winding down with the other two partners, so hopefully, I will be able to sit still and date soberly for a while or not at all so I can approach a genuine relationship at some point in the future. There are so many things I want to focus on right now anyhow and continual orgasm with women that I am semi interested in is just another way of acting out.
Until I destroy this completely or it falls apart on its on, I will continue to keep trying karezza. I remember the last time I tried this with a woman, things kept surfacing in my mind that caused problems. But I learned a lot.