Fighting a fetish

Submitted by Searcher1 on
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I'm a man in my early thirties who as been without porn or masturbation for a little over two weeks now (my wife and I had sex once in that period of time). It's going well in terms of avoiding temptation, but I haven't had a recovery of my libido (spontaneous or longer lasting erections).

However, I have one particular unusual sexual fantasy/fetish that particularly turns me on (it just popped into my head today for really the first time), and it almost instantly gave me an erection. It is one fantasy that I'm bothered by (it's not anything illegal I feel I need to add), though, and I want to get rid of (ideally, I don't want to have to rely on any fantasy when making love, but I don't know whether that is realistic). I'm somewhat worried because I've been using this particularly fantasy regularly for the last three years or so, and it's much easier to get off with it (to the point it's hard for me to get off even with other sexual fantasies I used to regularly use). My hope is to get rid of fantasy altogether, but I'm worried that I'm so hung up on this one that I will not be able to overcome it and eventually get aroused normally again.

Is it possible to overcome this and return to normal sexual appetites?


Don't fight it

Just stop thinking about it, worrying about it or getting off to it. Just smile at it when it shows up and turn your attention elsewhere. See

The brain is sneaky. It thinks you "need" the hit from this, so it will try to rationalize holding onto it. If you don't want it around, then you have to be consistent and patient...and put up with a time during which nothing will give you as high a buzz as your fetish. Eventually, your brain will start to find other things hot. Daily affection seems to help it reorient.

Good luck.

Something peaceful

I think given some more time away from pornography and masturbation you will noticed better overall balance... I think the fetish obsession will diminish.

I have found this to be true for myself on my journey away from PMO over the past 3 years or so. Many of the fetish type novelties I was keen on are completely gone now. Some even quite repulse me!

Maybe, this is the neuroplasticity we read about. The rewiring to real lovemaking with your real partner. Give that a good solid chance!