Our love making has become really wonderful, but it's been happening in fits and starts. My wife says she will prioritize it, but hasn't really. We've been bonding almost every night, which has helped, but at times [like right now] I feel frustrated because we're not having enough intercourse. I don't know what to do about it.
it's something that happens by itself when we're "in the right place", and more specifically when we're both relaxed, present, and especially when she is fully ready. My role is to love her, to use my touch to give. When she wants that to move to penetration, she'll let me know. I'm still getting used to this idea; still selling myself on it. I'm sold really, I just need my unconscious mind to get on board so I don't have to be so vigilant all the time looking for those "wrong thoughts".
I had known something was wrong for quite some time. We both thought that porn and masturbation were pretty normal, and that orgasm was definitely normal (and good). But sex with my wife had become routine. It didn't matter that I still find her very attractive after almost 20 years of marriage.