Day 10, wife getting curiousor

Submitted by skeptic on
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We had a horrible bought of flu in March and difficulties before that. I declared to my wife that I was going on an "orgasm diet". She is not super interested when not feeling well, and her health has lagged behind mine a little.

I think she appreciates that I have picked up an oar. There were a couple of signs of interest yesterday. She told me "I don't know how or why this works, but you've done this before and you are like night and day." I don't want to seem like I am totally dependant on my hormones to be less moody, but there is some reality to it. I don't know if everyone is wired that way.

Also, she was reading about "eastern philosophy" and "abstinence" on the Internet and it was research she was doing on her own instead of crap I was making her read.

Hmmmm. We will see.

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My guess is that this phenomenon

is not universal, but is much more widespread than imagined. Here is a 15-year old who noticed major personality changes (for the worse) when he started fapping (presumably to porn). He bounced back after he quit.

http://yourbrainonporn.com/90-days-returned-my-friendly-motivated-self

Was it the porn or the masturbation, or both...at least for some guys? Really, every man should make this experiment for himself. Here's a debate among the guys themseleves: http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/1bqjqs/is_masturbation_without_po...

It's great that guys no longer are made to feel bad when they masturbate, but why are we so unwilling as a culture to really examine its effects...instead of presuming only a tiny minority of "pathological" individuals would ever feel unwanted symptoms from ejaculation? We're not open-minded about it at all as a society, and this is keeping us from learning all sorts of useful things about human sexuality.

Everyone is wired different

It is not so much that MB has bad effects on me as, I really, really like the effect that avoidance has on me. I have picked up on other people's habits over the years, and there is a big range of behaviors. I for the life if me cannot relate to the need to MB multiple times a day every day. I have a sharp drop in Interest after the first time. I can relate to being too self absorbed and not expressive enough to one's partner when over reliance is present. There are also people with no sex drive at all, and that is no fun.

I do think I am in the minority of guys who like being horny sometimes as much or more than the climax. Over guys think of it as an itch that has to be scratched. It is delicious tension to have the cake and not eat it.

I'm doing no O for a while

I m also trying no O for at least 21 days...

I quit porn and M 137 days ago but have had O's about once a week with my wife...

The last one 5 days ago left very down mood about 3 days later. I have been noticing this but did not want to admit that something I enjoy in the moment causes so much discomfort afterwards...

I'm going to keep following what you report on your findings.

Thanks

I did a 50 day stint 3 years ago which is around here somewhere. What is making you flat? Mediocre health, a long winter, and work brings us down. I am feeling edgy but more energy. Hope to settle down.

She has no idea of her ability to spark me.

I have had a bad day. Nothing major, just the reality of dealing with life. It is Day 12 and I almost thought I was crazy for abstaining. I can't expect a silver bullet.

So I asked my wife if I should give up on the "diet". She looked at me perplexed and said "what? Are you crazy?" I have probably been a little needy but thought she was disinterested. Turns out she isn't disinterested. She said that I am much more in tune to her (mostly non sexual) needs now.

We will see where it goes.

Badgering

It is a different kind of badgering when I am abstaining. A good part of the time I think she likes knowing that I won't pressure her for sex or that affection isn't foreplay. But I also think that I can get a little clingy or needy and talk about the "diet" too much especially early on. Over the years, I have gotten a little better at this. I was kind of happy that she was adament that I stay on my diet today because she must be getting something out of this.

I am very curious how I will feel in a week

If I make it that far. Day 13 today. I really want to stop counting the days, but it is intense right now. We have had a good time in bed, but I don't want to do other things now, like work. :). I don't look at porn, but feel a little over obsessed with sex. I need cardio.