Man, I've missed you guys…So, the past few years have been um….up and down and sideways. I've been involved in a pretty dysfunctional relationship, and it hasn't been easy. This is a person who has some serious issues. It isn't easy finding people (particularly men) who are interested in this approach to lovemaking and healing. This person in particular apparently has a fetish about anal sex. I didn't know this until a few years into dating him. It's been a stormy, on again/off again relationship.
I just want to thank Marnia and Gary, for playing such a HUGE part in saving the world.
THANK YOU BOTH. You are doing the work of the divine.
I am back on the wagon. (Fell off due to some rather unfortunate events). I am wary of sexual interaction at the moment, because my partner is a reckless pilot and does not share my values in the bedroom, which has put my safety at risk, (he is um...extremely fertile due to his solo and sexual habits). I am contemplating on telling him I would like to be celibate for a time. This should be easy as our current lifestyles have left us apart a majority of the time. We rarely hang out or sleep next to each other. As different as we both are, we love each other very much.
So I have been in this on and off relationship with a man 5 years younger than me. We have had considerable ups and downs, break ups and make ups, I even suffered a miscarriage, and am still awaiting a normal period to resume after said miscarriage for proof that I am out of "those" woods, (you know, the woods of unwanted pregnancy.) Anyway, throughout all of this turmoil, my ideologies on relationships, human nature, sex, commitment, intimacy, etc...has been thrown into a metaphorical wood chipper.
Opting out of relationships entirely for a while. Voluntarily celibate.
Woke up in a funk or something. He's been acting pretty weird, like there's something going on in his world that he isn't letting on about. I feel like I'm missing some key information.I felt like my presence was bothering him (I was feeling pretty insecure and vulnerable) and asked him if I was in fact bothering him, but this only made him angry. He got pretty pissed off at me for feeling insecure. I told him he was being pretty mean in how he was talking to me. I went for a run to clear my head. He took off without a word or a note or anything while I was jogging.
um...this is awkward...
Back in April, I found someone. I just wanted everyone to know. I don't want to hype it up or hex it but I just want everyone to know I'm elated and super in love. He is younger than me, which is unusul. I have never been with someone younger than me. He is a beautiful soul though. We were friends for a while, and began hanging out more and more often. I had a secret crush on him that I kept to myself for quite a while. He stayed over for a week and slept on a futon in my room (I took the bed,) and we basically had a week long slumber party. Then he left to go work.
My last two boyfriends traumatized the hell out of me. I want someone on my level. This is hard.