Somedaysomeday's blog

No no no

Submitted by Somedaysomeday on

Relapse to porn on day 103. I can cry right now.
Feel terrible and disgusted. It's so strong in the moment, the limbic system making you choose for the short-term pleasure/crap.

I was so beating this, and I still can.
Why the heck did I want to check out porn, when I got so aroused about the thought of a beautiful girl just yesterday?

Aaaarghh, and now those chasers....

I want to go on like this never happened :(

Damn?? day 97

Submitted by Somedaysomeday on

Things didn't go as planned today: I masturbated twice.
As I mentioned earlier, I get easily triggered when I'm studying. I always used masturbation as some sort of relaxation, a reaction to the stressful, lonesome time during final exams. So I get loaded up sexually now...
Important to mention, I didn't use porn. I wanted to stop during the first 'session', but orgasm hit me really fast. Didn't really use fantasy, just the touch gets me aroused a lot already.

Day 91, riding the bumpy road.

Submitted by Somedaysomeday on

Oh yeah, reboot is a bumpy road. We're counting day 91, and my mood and vibe have lowered a little this week. Two weeks ago I was more energized, eager, better with words, perhaps more social. But hey, since your mood and drive are never fixed at one level, one can only work with the amount of motivation at hand, right? I try to acknowledge that to help me stick with the reboot.

First healthy M experiment during reboot (77 days)

Submitted by Somedaysomeday on

Today is day 68 of my reboot. I've completed my first goal, which was a succesfull 60 day PMO abstinence.
Everything really went fairly smooth so far, however I was planning on adding 30 days to the reboot to see if anything could improve further.

Last week I became curious about trying out a healthy masturbation though. I knew it was a risky case, and I was anxious that I would ruin my wonderful reboot. But after successfully coping with a lot of masturbation urges the last months, I was thinking of just consciously trying out a healthy one this time.

Wooohooo

Submitted by Somedaysomeday on

Yes! Today we made it to day 60.
I'm proud. It's actually weird in a way, but as others mentioned before, after a while the abstaining just gets routine. The last 3 weeks or so seemed so easy, and my mind was so busy with other interesting things to do: music, study, exercising, getting out with friends, meeting new people...
These things definitely help you in the process, and the fun part is that all these activities become even more intense as our brains now seek their dopamine rush in the little things.

F¨cking relapse aaarggghhh / sexuality issues?

Submitted by Somedaysomeday on

Well then, yesterday I celebrated 40 days (and 40 nights!) of being PMO-free. All went quite well, but I was having many flashbacks during the last week.
So... today it happened. I think the recipe for relapse was already set: flashbacks, stress because of slow progress in studying for my exam next week, plus doubt about my sexuality, hmm...
This led me to risky behaviour, yes, checking porn related images on google... just to check? Actually I don't know why I was doing it. I could withhold myself from doing this so easy during the last weeks.

What it's like, 1 month of successful coping.

Submitted by Somedaysomeday on

Landed on day 32 without any PMO. Some of my experiences...

- First two weeks went like a charm. I was working in a hospital as part of my education. This helped me in getting my mind off the porn (in general, as I was watching both straight and gay porn at the time).

- After the second week the cravings are like coming & going. I noticed your environment is really important. Unsurprisingly, they show up more when I'm at my desk where I used to masturbate.

Introducing... motive and experiences in rewiring the brain (day 32)

Submitted by Somedaysomeday on

Hi,
I checked in on this forum one month ago. That's when I decided to take responsibility for my own life for one time, and to cut out all the PMO. This is my first blog post. I want to share some of my experiences here, because reading others' stories, recognizing elements you have in common and sharing advice are known to be a significant help in any change we want to make in our lives. I hope I can contribute in this somehow.