I met a girl a couple of months ago via an internet website. We spoke a number of times on the phone. We had a great connection and could chat for hours ina very open and honest way about many things. We finally met and my first feeling was that I didnt feel attracted to her physically. Despite this I enjoyed her company and we laughed a lot. I shared with her my journey and experimentations with this approach to lovemaking and how I saw this as an important way of connecting in relationship. She was a little open to this whilst having some reservations that she enjoyed very much convential sex and hadnt experienced any hangover from this whilst at the same time acknowledging that perhaps she had but wasnt aware of it.
Anyway she agreed to read the book.
We met again and this time we shared a bed together but didnt have any physical interaction.
I have been struggling with getting clear about my feeling towards this person. In the past my relationships have begun with a strong feeling to want to connect physically with the pesron and chemistry and desire. However I have changed a lot over the past couple of years and now no longer totally buy into those feelings as a good measure of it being a good relationship.
However I am in new territory here in the fact that I have a great connection with a person and see the potential for a relationship , that we have shared outlooks , values etc however I dont as of yet despite having met with her 4 times and shared a bed twice have strong physical attraction with her.
I can see how if you were in a long term relationship and you started losing the physical attraction that using this way of lovemaking could reinvigortae the intimacy between you. However if it isnt there at the beginning? I feel as though it come with the exchanges and am willing to try it out with her,
this is the first time I have ever met anyone through a internet dating site and feel that there is a backround pressure to meet "mrs right" and am probably "wired" to look for certain strong urges that tell me that this is the one. However now I no longer trust fully in these feelings i am left with out a strong baraometer as to what i should be feeling to determine wether a realtionship is worth investing in as a long term commitment or wether its just friendship.
Any one else struggle with similar situations?