Relapse

Submitted by StartingOver on
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100th day of not viewing porn. That streak is still in tack. Today would have been 103 days of no orgasm however, I just lost it in the shower. Please don't be discouraged. I knew this was coming. My addiction is fantasy and masturbation. I couldn't keep myself from trying to find a fantasy (like seeing more extreme porn) and playing with myself. And the inevitable happened. Currently, I'm not depressed. I am keeping my head up. The fact that I've been able to avoid porn and keep myself from orgasming as long as I have is amazing. Also, I couldn't enjoy the orgasm because I realized I was relapsing.

Anyway, the focus is not on quitting fantasy and masturbation.

Comments

I don't think the point

is to never MO. Dude, you've stayed away for 100 days. After that point, I don't see a problem with MO within moderation. It seems like a lot of guys get so down on themselves and lose sight of the fact, that this reboot process is over once its over. Sure, you'll not be able to watch P again, but it's normal and healthy to get to MO occasionally. That being said, I'm not dissapointed! I'm on Day 28 - Getting to 100 is great I'm sure. But I think us guys have a tendency to see this process like going to the gym - "YOU CAN'T GIVE IN! BE DISCIPLINED!" Sure, don't go back to PMO. But there will be relapses along the way. This isn't a reflection of your internal discipline - you're not trying to be a monk here! :) And even then, I'm sure a monk wouldn't sweat - it's just part of the process.

I think part of it is also fear of having to "restart". I don't think your brain goes from rebooted to porn-induced coma after one MO. Or, perhaps, even P. It's possible to binge, however. But what I'm saying is relax! You're fine! You're overthinking this man. Time to go out and ejoy life!

You are right...

...under the circumstance you are describe, however, the problem is I was fantasying and masturbating in a addictive pattern and not because I wanted to enjoy myself. I didn't enjoy it at all. I have in the past, when trying to abstain (before the reboot) masturbate because I really wanted to and I felt great but this is no one of those times. But yes, I also know I have to be easy on myself, which I am working on.

i just binge 5 times to PMO

i just binge 5 times to PMO today hehehe. 100days that's a lot you need to release, I never went that long. I think from my experience, as long as you only Orgasm once after a long time abstaining, you will feel really good with huge energy the next day.

Not my exp.

I didn't feel great today. I noticed I had a down day over all. Didn't have the energy because orgasming is not the point. And I didn't do it willingly, I did it obsessively. I'll have huge energy when the next orgasm is with a real woman.