To tell not only about my mood swings I will tell you something beyond the surface of daily moods.
I have the feeling my womanhood has been touched...in an irritable way. I feel anger, injured pride and on the other hand something I would call "solid peace". Maybe the book I am reading has an influence on that ("Tantric orgasm for women") but I remember starting those feelings before I began to read...so it must be something coming from the karezza experiences I made this weekend.
I am no "bra burner" and I don´t "insist" on my "female rights" but I can feel now the wounds that womanhood is suffering from - and men also suffer from the lack of femininity, the whole (what I can tell, western) society suffers. Some would say it´s the lack of introvert´s point of view and I would agree with this as well...you can find the lacks from many points of view and use different words but it´s all the same. I would reduce it to the lack of softness and at the same time pure strength - "pure" means that the strength isn´t forced by an ego to compensate the lack of love. "Pure" means a conscious and self-assure will that knows what is right without doubts, with the help of intuition.
For now I would call all those qualities "female" though I know of course they can be found in men too. My boyfriend told me something about his "female" side but now I don´t think he really knows what femininity means...he projected something onto it. I am willing to show him what it really is and I am on a good way I think. I am better in acting intuitive, perceiving subtle things AND reacting to them in a controlled way...for example: when I "knew" he could have stopped intercourse without orgasm easily and that it would have been better for him. I gave it to him anyway because I knew he had to learn his own lessons.
I have always been very sensitive, I have antennas which recognize many unspoken things between people and other subtle things but most of the time those things overwhelmed me. In the past few years I learned to use those informations better and better but now with the beginning of karezza I feel even more competent. First I take the position of an observer, second I chose how to react...well, not always but more often than some time ago.
I feel more "giving" but also that I am the one who decides how much to give and that limits the giving - well, I am not at the end of my journey. I even am back on childish behavior - and for the same time a mother - I feel offended because my will for giving isn´t as responded as I "deserve" it. I think this is my wounded pride of womanhood (yeah I know it sounds a bit stupid) but it´s okay because it will lead me to true giving...in a few steps I won´t give anything that isn´t needed. I always used to give too much - because I wanted something. Now I am on my way to the ability of deciding what to give.
I decided to not overwhelm my boyfriend with stupid and unnecessary giving which only show my needs. As long as he doesn´t ask for my attention I am not giving it to him. When I came home yesterday he wasn´t available and that showed me some lack of interest (he could have asked if my journey was okay or something similar)...that´s maybe a result of all the orgasms he thought he needed. I won´t force him to communicate with me as it´s against my pride and against his unbalanced brain chemistry. Well, karezza and rebalancing is all about limiting and it doesn´t only affect our sex lives.