I have been on holiday the last weeks and it´s impressing how many things have changed. Before holidays we haven´t seen each other for a few weeks - I was surprised how much HE had changed...though it was me who began the journey, it seemed that he had begun his own journey which is very rewarding. He was kind and attentive...he adored me, he forgave me, he was open and warm and willing to make compromises...everything was easy and it still is, as they say in the movies: it´s love, when it´s easy.
I took "Tantric orgasm for women" with me and he asked if we should do some exercises out of the book...we tried one which didn´t really work (I guess we should practice more yoga^^), but that doesn´t matter...I was happy he asked and showed some interest. He also began to read the book and seemed very interested and we talked a bit about it. And this was all his own choice and motivation, I didn´t suggest or mentioned anything.
It feels like he had given up his resistance and opened his heart. :)
Well, I guess I do have a stake in this.^^
There is one thing that didn´t work so well: avoiding orgasms. But I didn´t recognize many after-effects...though I could put my finger on them when they appeared. They just didn´t have so much power because everything else was fine. After holidays I met my boyfriend again (after a week of distance) and we had again orgasmic sex...but...I recognized that I wasn´t really interested in this any more. So I just...didn´t have one...and it wasn´t hard not to come. It was more like...a decision. In general I have the feeling I am more able to make decisions and am not forced by my "nature". I am more conscious in what I´m doing and I can sense what is right and what is wrong...especially in the sex-area.
What seems to be very important for sexual healing is deep penetration. My boyfriend and I had established this and it feels really good...relaxing, healing. Normally I don´t moan but when we do this it comes naturally, because I feel so satisfied and relaxed. Hm. Hard to describe how I feel...
By the way: he is proud that we are having sex for at least half an hour (mostly more time) while other couples need 2 minutes...I find that sweet, because he is kind of boasting.^^
I think I will not have an orgasm for the next time...have a break or something. You know like...this week I won´t eat no chocolate because I´ve had so much last week...
I think it´s hard to do karezza consistent in a long-distance relationship...we have some elements, but the snuggling and cuddling is missing...but: I can see the difference now, am more aware of the after-effects and I know when it´s not necessary to have an orgasm. I still want to experience the energy-flow which appears when two people are doing karezza or tantra and I am still on that journey. I can´t go back and I don´t want it.
By the way: I bought him "Tantric sex for men" but he didn´t like the way it´s written and wanted something more scientific, objective...I guess I have to give him your book, Marnia...^^
I like that I can simply buy him a book without thinking too much (should I or shouldn´t I, what will he think...blabla).
By the way 2: I quit smoking three weeks ago! :)