Day 2

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Submitted by sweetdee on
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So here I am. The overly sexually driven female on day 2 of my journey. This is going to be a struggle for me, no doubt about it. I can say I'm looking forward to some mental clarity. My mind is clouded with sex. It is a constant distraction. I'm in a committed relationship with someone that has almost no sex drive whatsoever. The sexual imbalance is a constant source of frustration for both of us. Frustration leading to near desperation until I literally stumbled upon this wonderful site. The Karezza lifestyle seems so right for us. Before I found my way here we seriously considering adding sex toys and porn into our bedroom, which didn't really feel "right" either. So here we go on our journey together, and what an amazing journey it's going to be!

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Welcome

You are in for a real treat. Is he opening to reading some of the material with you at all? At first the idea mmight do his head in, but if he understands the point of it from a mindy place, (men are big on thinking), it likely will go better.

Hello :o)

I'm very lucky that we are both on the same page with the Karezza journey, We have been reading about and researching the topic like crazy, both together and on our own. He is very open to the whole experience, as am I. We are both pretty open-minded, spiritual people.

Ahh!

So fortunate to be learning about this at such a young age! Enjoy!!

(and no wonder you are so sexually driven! You are in your prime reproduction years and it's not uncommon to feel biological urges, but if you can flip those urges over and become spiritually driven instead...you will find such peace, I think~~wish I had known about all of this at that age!)

A piece of peace would be wonderful!

I honestly didn't think it would be this difficult this early on. In a way my body is sexually dextoxing and preparing to be reprogrammed. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't feel like a cat in heat! Is this normal for women in the beginning stages?

When I divorced

In the months after my divorce, I felt just like that~~a cat in heat~~almost unbearable to live in my skin (and it gave me a great understanding of what men go through *much* of their lives, lol)~~I paced around and could think of nothing else but having sex.

I was so happy when I finally found balance through karezza and was able to disperse the energy I contained in a way that honored my femininity (instead of being masculine in nature, which is the only way most of us know how to get rid of the extra "testosterone")~~you will find it, too~~the more *yang* you receive (through longer and longer periods of PIV), the more balanced you will feel.

Welcome

Not sure if any of these ideas will help, but guys giving up porn sometimes find them helpful. (Modify as needed.)

RED X

Energy Circulation Practices

Cold water technique

♦Solo Tools (especially mediation and exercise)

Also, Clarity (http://www.reuniting.info/users/clarity) went through this a few months ago and she may have some words of wisdom. I think she's about your age.

The good news is that it will pass. Daily bonding behaviors will help...eventually. Make sure you dive right into those. More ideas at the link in lefthand margin.

Thank you for your

Thank you for your suggestions. I think I'm going to try to add some meditation and exercise to my daily routine. I have a hectic schedule and two small children so the meditation might be a challenge. At this point I'm lucky if I can go to the bathroom without being disturbed. Night time meditation might be the way to go. Any suggestions on techniques would be greatly appreciated.

I like the daily bonding behaviors and the closeness they promote. I'm very fortunate and have a boyfriend that enjoys cuddling just as much as I do.

meditation

I do the recirculating meditation as needed. It doesn't take any longer than peeing. It may help to take a few minutes at some point to really focus on it so you understand how to do it, but once you've got it down you can just do it at will without needing to lock yourself up in private without distractions. Best wishes on your journey!

cuddling really helps equalize libido

My wife has a much lower drive than I. She says her sex drive is almost non-existent. But we do Karezza every other day or more often, and we do a lot of cuddling in between. I think this is  a key. It helps to quell my stronger drive and she is more willing with Karezza. I still expect that some point we'll have some breatkthroughs with her sex drive, but it doesn't really matter. She does seem to enjoy it more and more, which is encouraging. She is becoming more orgasmic, which is neither here nor there but I thought I'd mention it.

I would say I don't feel that urgent horny feeling that I used to feel, at least not often. The last time was a few days after an accidental orgasm.

Since you have small children it's much more difficult to get time for bonding and cuddling, of course. This is the most difficult time for couples, I think, and perhaps the reason is it's hard to get in enough bonding time. Karezza makes that much better and easier. I think it is a very important time for couples to try Karezza as otherwise too often the little ones get the attention and cuddling and there isn't anything left for the all-important relationship. Not saying that's your situation, but I see this quite often.

Interesting......

We've increased the frequency of our cuddling and the amount of time we cuddle for. This takes a lot of effort, but it is worth it. We don't live together, so between that, kids, work, school, it takes some planning.

When it comes to our vastly opposite libidos, I wish more than anything we could meet somewhere in the middle. I honestly don't want to be so preoccupied with sex. It's a major distraction that I do not need right now.