need some advise about therapy not about the pmo kind

Submitted by sweetintentions on
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My children and I have been working with a fantastic therapist for over two years, she has not only helped us move forward but also emotionally heal. She has offered our family an opportunity to be involved in a conference for therapists. We would have a free 2 hour consultation with Professor Maurizio Andolfi (google him if you like) live in a room full of therapists. My therapist tells me that it is a once in a lifetime opportunity as this guy is such a master therapist she said we would greatly benefit even in one session. My heart tells me that we should jump at this chance, only thing holding me back is that it will cost me quite a bit in airfares. Should I take my children and follow my heart in my quest for healing and wellness for my family. Any feedback would be appreciated....has anyone heard about this guy before?

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dont' know about that guy

but this is a bit of "guru chasing" that is generally not a good idea. It sends a message to you and your family that you are not complete, that you have to find your completeness through other people, other gurus, and that is not correct. You are already complete and fine the way you are. Nobody else has magic pixie dust that will make you fine. You already are fine.

The heart is often wrong. And our interpretation of what our true desire is is often wrong. It is affected by many things that are purely emotional and have nothing to do with what is good for us.

therapy has helped us so why not go for master therapy?

Thanks for responding emerson. I sure do not want to make my children feel that as a family we are incomplete. Sure we are fine the way we are...but I must face reality and the fact is that my children are emotinally scarred due to bad parenting/poor choices and the toxic relationship I had with their father. I take full responsibility for what my children have suffered in the past and I know that even if their father caused most of the grief I am also to blame. I feel that it is my duty as a mother and I owe it to them to try and help them heal as much as possible. Let;s not forget that our parents are our only role model for parenting and also we seem to repeat the patterns in our life until one day we learn the lesson or wake up and work very hard to make a change. My therapist tells me that unless I step up to my parenting role my daughter may grow up to let men treat her badly and my son will treat his own woman badly. I can see that this could easily happen unless we continue to work through all the issues that we are now left with. My children have beautiful hearts but they have been hurt and I feel they need alot of love and help to build self worth. When I left my marriage I had no sense of my own identity and had self destructive behaviors because my husband had stripped me of my self worth and self esteem. I just want the best for my children...I am now a new person and I know that after much work I have found myself. I have full trust in my therapist and she assures me that this guy is something special and we would all benefit greatly. I do believe in therapy so I am thinking why not jump at a chance to have a consultation with a world renowned professor of psychology.

thanks emerson

I have made the decision...we are going. I have booked our flight tickets and feel very excited about this, can't wait to go. I think that regardless of the outcome it can't hurt and it will be quite an experience for all of us hopefully a positive one.

Well,

obviously it's a decision only you can make but here are a few thoughts.

These are just rhetorical questions. No need to answer them here.
Is the cost going to be a financial burden?
How old are your kids? How are they handling the situation at present? It seems Maurizio Andolfi trained as a child psychologist so if you think your kids need that extra support it may be worthwhile on that level.

What do you mean 'live in a room full of therapists'? You mean share a house together? For how long? Sounds like you might meet some interesting people.

I suspect you really want to go but just need some confirmation? I tend to say follow your heart as long as all the pieces fit together and your mind gets to have a say. What concerns me is whether it will put you under financial strain.

Have you put together a budget?

There are so many factors to consider. How could anyone possibly give you any advice without knowing your situation very well.

Whatever you decide I hope you and your family find the healing you need.

thankyou dontgiveup

It will be a two hour consultation live on a stage with with 20 therapists attending including my woman therapist that I have worked with for a little over two years at first on my own and then with my children. I can handle the financial side of things the most important thing is that we don't miss this once in a lifetime opportunity that we have been given after all wellness has no price. No matter how long it takes and how hard the work is I am determined to help my children reach a better place emotionally. I will let my heart be my guide and not my mind. As osho would put it embrace uncertainty and jump into the great unknown. I will go with no expectations just a new experience...a new adventure.

so familiar

Your situation sounds so much like my mother's, after she divorced my father. I think that the most important thing a parent can do for a child is to let them know they are loved. For all the mistakes my mother feels she made, the fact that she TRIED so hard was always obvious evidence that she meant well. I'm sure that your children will realize that in the long run, if they don't already.

I completely disagree with the idea that our own parents are our only role models for parenting and relationships. I don't have children myself, but I see my brothers raising children in ways completely different from what our parents did. One of them clearly models himself after a neighbor who was quite close to when he was a child. Friends, mentors, neighbors, characters from TV, movies, books - we get our role models from many sources.

Certainly parents play an important part in shaping people, but we learn at least as much from adversity as we do from easy times. Plenty of wonderful, evolved people have been through really difficult experiences. Any mistakes you have made do not necessarily doom your children.