An inglorious return, with the best of intentions

Submitted by Terminus on
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Hello all,

Some of you may recognize me, I've been posting intermittently here for several months. I'm returning again with another attempt at rebooting. I've had several failures, but every time I learn something new and have a greater resolve to succeed. My dad gave me a great lesson for marksmanship which I apply to everything: As long as you keep missing the mark a little closer each time, you're making progress and eventually you'll hit a bullseye. This is absolutely true in gun sports (I have found) and in my academic and professional life as well.

So, here I am and I'm working on another reboot process. This time I'm using a tool I used previously, but in a different way; I was using a timer on my phone that had a "count upward" feature... if you've ever seen a shuttle launch and you've seen how the timer goes from T-10 sec to 0:00 and then 0:01 and 0:02 and ever upward... that's what I'm talking about. Well this time I'm starting at a set amount of time (40 days) and counting downwards. The only thing I'm counting towards though is resetting the timer after the 40 day benchmark.

Considering my porn habits and the fact that I wired to porn rather than women since I've been viewing it since I was about 11, I wouldn't be surprised if my reboot takes several months. There are some incidents that make me think it may not take that long, for example I was much healthier sexually speaking when I was 21 and 22 than today (26) and I'm doing better today than I was a year ago, although I'm obviously not 100% or I wouldn't be working on this. Regardless, I know I have a long way to go, but it's not impossible for anyone and my situation seems more hopeful than some accounts I've read about, and that gives me even more confidence.

I just finished what may be my last diet coke ever, as from this point on during the rest of my reboot I'm going to be avoiding caffeine and "overly stimulating" foods (very spicy, very sugary, very high-calorie, high fat, fried, etc.) so that I can give what my own observations are, although I suspect that they will be heavily colored by my expectation of the results...

As for the dating process, I took a bit of a break as I was feeling burned out and a little rejected. I'm starting back up and have a decent prospect, although with internet dating it's always a weird initial starting period whenever you start contact with someone. I say that because it's difficult to get a feel for someone's personality and different people have different comfort levels with talking to strangers and eventually meeting up. That said I'm getting back into it and hopefully will have some success. I think as get back into watching my diet (which I really need to do for health reasons if for no other reason) my dating life will improve and probably my sexual health too as being overweight certainly can hurt your sexual health.

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