Insightful setback

Submitted by Terminus on
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I'm 3 or 4 days out from a binge. It was bizarre. I think I'm definitely showing large signs of improvement, and I also think that the supplement I'm taking is making a difference as well. What caused me to relapse was cruising my online dating site. Not sure what it was about her, but I was struck by beauty, intensely aroused, and I relapsed. So that's the bad news. It was a binge, 4 times pmo.

Here's the silver lining... I would never have been able to pmo 4 times in a single day, let alone an evening prior to making some serious progress. Now hopefully this doesn't backtrack the progress I've made.. but I think it clearly illustrates that I'm making progress. I just have to be better at finding ways to distract myself or redirect my energy when I start feeling like a relapse is imminent.

Just thought I'd share.

Comments

Stay off of the dating sites.

Stay off of the dating sites. Trust me. They have led me to relapse more than once. It's very similar to porn when you're going from one profile to the next and becoming aroused in the process. All it takes is one girl with risque photos and you're craving porn.

I figured I'd comment on here

I figured I'd comment on here rather than making a whole blog post about this... but I noticed something in regards to my perception of women.

I think that the porn has warped my sense of perception of what a woman should look like. I don't mean in the traditionally thought sense that I have unrealistic expectations of beauty because the women in porn always have makeup, plastic surgery, etc. I mean that I think that viewing women in a 2d format and as something on a screen rather than something seen in real life has altered the way my brain perceives the 3d dimensional image of a woman and her sillhouette in real life. Even a woman with an attractive figure in real life usually doesn't get much notice from me because, I think, my sense of perception has been thrown off.

Think of it this way... if you only ever saw pictures of a 3d object like a ball which doesn't really have sides, or a cube but you only ever saw one side at a time, and then someone threw a soccer ball at you, or showed you what a pair of dice looks like... you wouldn't automatically perceive those things as familiar or normal, or they wouldn't ilicit the same response that the 2d images did.

Just an insight.