The intoxicating sensation of success

Submitted by Terminus on
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As I type this I am sitting down after just getting back from the best date I've ever had. I'm on my 14th day of no pmo and tomorrow will be a milestone of the longest I've gone in 8 years of no pmo.

The night was unbelievable, and worth the wait. For some background - a customer of mine flirted with me somewhere between 6 months to a year ago. I didn't realize this until after she had left, but I wrote down her name and place of business and kept it in my wallet the whole time. Crossing the romantic line with customers in my industry is very dangerous because we have access to their personal information, so I never asked her out for fear of rejection and my job security. Well I asked her out about a month and a half ago and when I went to see her, she remembered me and was so glad to see me she was beaming. After a few rescheduled dates and a big lack in communication, we finally had our first date tonight and saw a movie together. It was magical. I'm sure I loooked like a dope the whole time with a giant smile on my face, but I was just ecstatic. I've had several bad dates recently with people I met online and some that I thought were good, but this blew them all away. She was talkative, responsive, friendly, kind, cordial, and there was this feeling of our personalities and roles just meshing together. It's almost indescribable.

One thing that was surprising was that I normally assume that I'm going to pay for the date and thought to myself beforehand that if she insists on paying I would offer to pay for snacks and if I paid where she had offered to pay for me, I would suggest she pay for snacks. Well it worked out that way without my intervention; I told her it wasn't necessary for her to buy her ticket and I would cover it and so she in turn immediately offered to pay for snacks. It was great. When we were in line getting our stuff, she even helped me get my cup, lid and had a straw unsheathed and waiting for me when I had the lid on. IT was a sweet gesture that I can only say felt like it was a rehearsed routine, like we were already a couple going to the movies and she just knew I would need my straw and had it there for me.

We had some fun and light "get to know you" conversation while waiting for the movie, and we laughed basically all the same gags and jokes in the movie, even when the rest of the theater wasn't. It seems like our sense of humor and personalities in general really mesh. While she had her arms crossed for a lot of the movie and she made sure to pull the arm rest down between us (which she never used) she didn't lean away towards the other chair on the side opposite me, which I think was a sign of good body language. It's just almost indescribable. I'm getting the same feeling about her that I had about my first girlfriend after I had met her which was that, inevitable she would be my girlfriend. Only this time, the feeling is even more positive and rooted in behavioral observation rather than just intuition. Of course I'm not expecting this, but I am very optimistic.

In-fact she beat me to the punch telling me what a great time she had, and that we should continue to stay in touch and suggested we get dinner during this or the upcoming weekend.

After this experience tonight I have NO desire for pmo at all. I think I'm going through a flatline right now anyway, but regardless it would feel dishonest to her as much as it would to myself. I haven't felt this positive in a long time. She really makes me smile. I just thought I would share that with you all.


So I broke my record but I

So I broke my record but I did mo twice yesterday. The first was encouraging because there was no porn and no fantasy and was able to finish with a condom. The second was slightly less good with very light fantasy and I gave up on the third try. I know I know... I had been testing because I was curious after over 2 weeks of nothing.

The strange thing is that the results I had were less impress than my last attempt about a month ago. I'm thinking it's from the porn I watched during that month of taking a break.

Also, I think I'm just nervous about inevitably talking to this girl I'm dating about Is but I've had this sense of dread or impending doom all day. I'm doing my best to stay calm and relaxed.

Edit - Addition

I just attempted to call the two women in my life that were affected by my porn induced ed. My first girlfriend and someone I met online and tried to have a one nighter with. My ex girlfriend has since changed her number, or has appeared to anyway. The second girl barely remembered me and was shocked I would even call. At first she was fairly dismissive and less than gracious, but I explained to her in some careful language that I wanted to give her the apology she deserved but never received for essentially blowing her off totally when I couldn't perform with her. She meant more to me than just a one night stand, we had an emotional bond and were talking for about a month before she came to my house to spend the night, but it all fell apart when I couldn't get it up. Anyway, it feels good to resolve at least part of that.

Brave man

Hope she ultimately appreciated your action.

Stop the masturbation. It's not going to make your courtship easier. That's a myth. Contain your energy. You'll need it. Wink

Haha thanks for the words of

Haha thanks for the words of encouragement. Yeah I'll definitely try to keep my hands off. I'm also going to try to hit up the gym and watch my eating again as I think that was a major factor in my previous success several months ago. It was during that time that I felt the "strongest" success, if you catch my meaning.