As I type this I am sitting down after just getting back from the best date I've ever had. I'm on my 14th day of no pmo and tomorrow will be a milestone of the longest I've gone in 8 years of no pmo.
The night was unbelievable, and worth the wait. For some background - a customer of mine flirted with me somewhere between 6 months to a year ago. I didn't realize this until after she had left, but I wrote down her name and place of business and kept it in my wallet the whole time. Crossing the romantic line with customers in my industry is very dangerous because we have access to their personal information, so I never asked her out for fear of rejection and my job security. Well I asked her out about a month and a half ago and when I went to see her, she remembered me and was so glad to see me she was beaming. After a few rescheduled dates and a big lack in communication, we finally had our first date tonight and saw a movie together. It was magical. I'm sure I loooked like a dope the whole time with a giant smile on my face, but I was just ecstatic. I've had several bad dates recently with people I met online and some that I thought were good, but this blew them all away. She was talkative, responsive, friendly, kind, cordial, and there was this feeling of our personalities and roles just meshing together. It's almost indescribable.
One thing that was surprising was that I normally assume that I'm going to pay for the date and thought to myself beforehand that if she insists on paying I would offer to pay for snacks and if I paid where she had offered to pay for me, I would suggest she pay for snacks. Well it worked out that way without my intervention; I told her it wasn't necessary for her to buy her ticket and I would cover it and so she in turn immediately offered to pay for snacks. It was great. When we were in line getting our stuff, she even helped me get my cup, lid and had a straw unsheathed and waiting for me when I had the lid on. IT was a sweet gesture that I can only say felt like it was a rehearsed routine, like we were already a couple going to the movies and she just knew I would need my straw and had it there for me.
We had some fun and light "get to know you" conversation while waiting for the movie, and we laughed basically all the same gags and jokes in the movie, even when the rest of the theater wasn't. It seems like our sense of humor and personalities in general really mesh. While she had her arms crossed for a lot of the movie and she made sure to pull the arm rest down between us (which she never used) she didn't lean away towards the other chair on the side opposite me, which I think was a sign of good body language. It's just almost indescribable. I'm getting the same feeling about her that I had about my first girlfriend after I had met her which was that, inevitable she would be my girlfriend. Only this time, the feeling is even more positive and rooted in behavioral observation rather than just intuition. Of course I'm not expecting this, but I am very optimistic.
In-fact she beat me to the punch telling me what a great time she had, and that we should continue to stay in touch and suggested we get dinner during this or the upcoming weekend.
After this experience tonight I have NO desire for pmo at all. I think I'm going through a flatline right now anyway, but regardless it would feel dishonest to her as much as it would to myself. I haven't felt this positive in a long time. She really makes me smile. I just thought I would share that with you all.