Submitted by Terminus on
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Last night we had sex again. I was definitely able to keep my erection longer and it was stronger than previously. And for the first time in my life, I had an orgasm during PVI. Our relationship is continuing to bud and grow in depth and complexity. We naturally spend hours in bonding behaviors when we're together "just because". We enjoy it.

I know that as time goes on my body and mind will continue to acclamate themselves to reality, and get even further away from 2d stimulation.

I think things will also improve with changing my diet and exercising more.

I can't stress enough how much a difference it makes in having a partner who is understanding. It's not my intention to pass judgement on some people I hear and read about who want to "hook up" with women they've only had a couple dates with or just been attracted to for a long time, whatever works for them is great, but I've also heard and read about those scenarios ending in disappointment. In my case, even though we're about to have been dating for only a month, we've seen each other almost every other day during that period and talked every day. Having such closeness and having an understanding and respect for each other has been one of the biggest factors in helping me with my issues. Also, explaining what was going on and why helped remove some of the mental barriers and anxiety. I still have some concerns about it, although to a MUCH lesser extent than in the past.

I don't know that I'm "cured" but I'm MUCH better off than I was 8 months ago. I want to stress to everyone reading this, because I'm assuming there are some guys on here who are just starting out or who have been at this for a while with less success than I, that you can't give up and you can't let yourself get discouraged by what you perceive to be setbacks or failures.

If you're one of these people... read my whole blog, all 8 months of it. Why? Because you'll see how many numerous times I had "setbacks" or "failures", how I dealt with them and that I have not given up. I know I'm not done "recovering" but I've gone a long way. Initially I thought my problem was all mental, and about performance anxiety. Then I thought it was my fear of impregnating someone that was causing my issue. Then I thought I might be gay. Then I thought I had physical issues causing the problem. I may actually have some physical component to my ED problems.. but needless to say I've gone a LONG way in resolving the physical problems in my brain and the emotional and mental problems that are part of it as well.

So my advice for any newbies or guys who need some encouragement:

Don't give up

If you do give up for a while (I have a couple times), start up again

Use a timer or system to keep track of time

Don't beat yourself up if you DO look at porn or masturbate

Everyone is different, so what some people may consider a setback or inappropriate or helpful may not be the same for you

I had (have) emotional and mental issues that contributed to my problem, and you should know that there is NOTHING wrong with sex, sexuality, desire, lust, etc. And it's natural. Pretty much everyone has sex, or tries to anyway. How do you think we all got here?