Week 2 no PMO

Submitted by Thankful on
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I ended a two 1/2 year relationship recently. I found that during the relationship I was able to go for months with no PMO. I think this was because I was medicating myself with intimate hugs, cuddles etc.. My Ex GF an I practiced celibacy for a while partly because we kept going for full orgasm sex and it has pretty much the same effect as PMO. Anyway now is a more challenging time for me. I managed to kick an extreme porn habit a few years back but I masturbated habitually to mental fantasies ever since. I find this leaves me anxious, lacking in energy, lacking focus and memory, irritable, emotionally unstable and more. It definitely effects the way I interact with and perceive women. I find that when I manage not to masturbate for at least two weeks I develop an inner strength. I become calmer in the presence of attractive females and I am less hungry for them in the insane porn way.
So for the first time outside a relationship, I am attempting to go MO free. I want to live PMO free for the rest of my life. If I get into another relationship (and its sexual) I'd like to try Karrezza only an nothing which is going to stimulate the senses too much. This is ultimately the root of the problem I think. Over stimulation of the senses (dopamine rushes etc...) and then addiction to those sensations. Just in the same way the heroin addict is seeking that hit, so too does the compulsive masturbator/porn addict seek that hit. I don't want to be governed by yearning for fleeting sensations anymore.
I recently managed 3 weeks no MO, and I felt great. My energy levels were up, I felt confident, I was interacting with attractive women in a great way. Then I relapsed and masturbated everyday for several days. This put me back to square one. However I think if you just keep going, keep picking up where you left off, you get a little stronger everytime.
I have noticed that by being very body aware when the unpleasant physical sensations of withdrawal arise really helps to stop you reacting to them (by going and masturbating). Likewise, when the strong urges come, if you can take a few breaths, stop and feel the sensations, it gives you a chance to stop until the sensations subside.
So I intend to keep trying. I want to say that I feel in solidarity with everyone who posts here and it gives me strength to know that there are brothers and sisters in this struggle over the mind. We are all in it together.

I'll keep posting to let you know what happens down the line.

Stay strong, be present.

S

PS: Meditation is great. Try it if you get a chance.

Comments

I can relate to your

I can relate to your situation, only for me it was a 2.5 year relationship. You've done better than me so far, but it's good to know that it gets a little easier. I'm guessing because you learn from your mistakes in a way. But you're right, we are in this together. I'm very thankful for this forum because otherwise I really have nobody in my life to talk to who would really comprehend or even care about this struggle. Inspiring post.