Whats up been awhile and I thought I'd give another update of what it's like over here in pretty much rebooted land for all you homies strugglin.
Don't know what day it is maybe 115? And here are my thoughts on how school is going when I'm not addicted to porn....
My classes are good and I retain the information amazingly. When I started looking at porn I went from a 4.0 student in jr high and slowly fell too a 2.0 or maybe less by Sophmore year. I felt stupid, school used to come naturally and I always felt extremely gifted when it came to all my classes. Literally breezing right through them. Porn ruined that, and so much more. I can't describe the feeling of not being able to work out or recall learned information when your pmo addicted. That fog really plays a big role though. I now have an A in all my classes as of now, math chemistry and history which is not an easy work load especially since I work 10+ hours a week. Feels good to be smart again, I remember that was such a blow to my self confidence in high school. You would look at the blond straggly headed kid and think I was dumb as bricks but then in the class I'd school everyone with my grades and was a top athlete.
Socially I'm awesome, I say whatup to people I barely know and girls are always smiling at that tall handsome blond kid and I smile back :D I talk to more chicks at school then guys and it's so natural now. I still generally want to bang them but now I don't feel that shame of porn hovering over me. I really badly want to get this chicks number in my chem class, like really really badly so hopefully the opportunity arises tonight. She helped me with some questions last class and talked a little bit and she stood next to me to watch a demonstration :) I don't know what I'm afraid of? Rejection I guess
I'm so friggen horny now, like all the time. I try to masterbate the least amount as I can, but in instances like two nights ago when I'm sitting in bed with a raging hard on and can't sleep because I'm too horny then I decide to masterbate, very lightly tho :) some girl was getting out of the pool and changing and I'm inside the building doing homework all alone and she comes into the room all by herself and changes in front of me.... Ugh that just got me going for the day. I got blood flow and she was showing off her ass and ugh I'm friggen turned on just thinking about it. Some ladies.... Now I seriously think I have a full prostate, my genitals are just radiating heat i have a semi erection and am kinda waiting to blow, but if I can help it I won't masterbate.
It's so weird I feel like my penis is like a second brain and for all this time it's been turned off and now it's finally on again. My penis reacts to real girls now and it's weird having that second brain gives me confidence. Like my penis is now full all the time and ready to rock, and when I looked at porn and was rebooting it was just lifeless.
Well wish me luck tonight I want to get her number but we have a test and I don't know if the right opportunity will arise. I need to get laid soon though, or I think I might cry