The books that helped us get started

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Submitted by thegentlevegan on
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let me say briefly which books and articles about Karezza I have been reading that have been ultimately helpful for our experience:

First, Alice B. Stockham's The Ethics of Marriage lots of theory, but also plenty of practical letters from struggling couples with Stockham's advice attached.

William Lloyd's book on Karezza from sacred texts website. very helpful in spelling out how karezza works, and more poetic in descriptions, for some imagination on how to get started.

Dr. Rudolph Von Urban's Sexual Perfection and Marital Happiness- ultimately what convinced me that Karezza WORKS. Nine case studies of unsuccessful, moderate, and very successful couples, gendered bias from the time period written (1948), but still applicable today for many relationships in the US! Applied information is very helpful. Also, helps dispel the idea that sexuality is separate from our happiness, and that it is very possible for couples to change the course of their relationships in a practical way.

Peace Between the Sheets- Marnia Robinson. There is a chunk of it on Google books which is free to read.. kind of expensive to read the whole thing. 34.00 on amazon. ... anyone else have info on where else to find it?? :)

The article on Reuniting.Info by kevinj, Karezza Explored (an interview with Darryl and Rachael, the follow up to the four steps for men) is probably the most helpful one I have found . Outlines the theory and misconceptions/opinions by men on Karezza. THIS ONE HELPED OPEN UP BOTH OF US MORE TO THE IDEAS SURROUNDING KAREZZA, although we have both been more open to the idea over a period of months.

It has taken us several months to educate ourselves about Karezza and become open to the idea of trying to not have orgasm, and having slow "cool" sex.

My partner read Cupid's Poisoned Arrow earlier this year and wasn't highly convinced, although he was open to the ideas. I read it July, and I was convinced, although I was hesitant about taking on ideas about Karezza that I hadn't tried myself in practice with my partner to see if I really wanted to incorporate them into our lives. Reading all of these books helped immensely in educating myself and creating more sound, practical, and pleasurable decisions. If I hadn't read these books, I wouldn't have learned a lot of the small tips, new perspectives on sexuality, or practical structured advice on Karezza, which is pretty non-intuitive if you've grown up learning conventional sexuality from magazines, tv, movies, and society of the late 1900's and early 2000's. ... I am very grateful for this information, because I wouldn't have been able to find out what I needed without these insights.

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Just so you know...

Peace Between the Sheets  is out of print because Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships is its update. The publisher asked us to change the title because they said the first title sounded too much like a book on insomnia. *rolls eyes*

Anyway, thank you for laying all that out. Maybe I should make an FAQ for "What materials have people found helpful?"

Anyone else??

Thanks for your response :)

Yeah, I could see how it might be seen as a sleep book lol.. We might end up buying one of those older prints :) Both my partner and I like the way Peace Between The Sheets was written. We felt that Peace was a little more down to earth, but Cupid version had it's place in our journey as well. Cupid helped initially because it is such a ground breaking idea that orgasm is not necessary. Very hard to emotionally understand starting out. I am very grateful that my partner was introduced to Cupid because we would not have known about Karezza and we wouldn't be where we are now sexually without it.

Yeah, no problem. I think a FAQ page would be great. I know that when I first came on Reuniting.info, I was looking for all of the original written information about Karezza- "raw data" if you will. It was helpful to read the different information about each original book, too.

Thanks again ! :)

When I wrote "Peace"

I'd barely heard of "karezza," and what I'd read was wrong...as it turns out. That's because a guy named Alan Watts got it wrong, and then people copied his error. He misuderstood and thought that karezza encouraged orgasm for women. Maybe he just assumed that because a women came up with the name. Smile

Anyway, when Gary and I actually read when Stockham had written, we were stunned. Gary swears I'm her reincarnation. Wink

I'll make the FAQ. You're right. How would people know about the other resources on the site???