I think we had karezza again.. Even when I'm in a post-O time frame

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today we cuddled in the morning and ..right now we're both unemployed starting a new business together,.. So we didn't get up for several hours.. We woke up around 9- cuddled, fell back asleep- cuddled- fell back asleep etc
While cuddling, I recognized the tension stored and festering behind my pubic bone that resulted from an orgasm a couple days ago. I stayed present with it.. Laying there, recognizing the tension, breathing, not doing anything to it, just being there... It slowly released, but not completely. I just stayed with it mentally and emotionally- recognizing how the tension will/may/and does affect my day to day emotions, as I will sometimes have emotional bursts a few days or week later after an orgasm.
Don't mean to be XXX, but- I ended up sucking on my Bf's nipples at one point. It was actually very comforting and reminded me of the nurturing we both can give eachother. He was relaxed and enjoyed it too.
We ended up having sex, but it was very slow. No movement. I laid on top of him and we kissed slowly a lot, but we didn't really hump eachother, just remained PIV and held one another. I felt so blessed.
At one point I said out loud, does this sound crazy, but can you tell how much more connected this felt? He said "of course, it was a completely different experience." He told me later that I was around him completely. For me, I felt like I could tell each time he became more excited or moved a little, I remained more still and relaxed. And I felt we both intuitively and silently understood eachother's struggle but felt connected and grateful to stay how we were. I said sorry once and he said "no, enjoy it" and held me.
I ended up giving him a BJ later, so he had an orgasm, but none for me and it was good that way. He still has a hard time not orgasming if he felt he has "gone too far (in feeling) to go back". I understand, and I know his intention eventually will be to become aware and remain in a place entirely where he will not go "past". I anticipate even more awareness when we do things slow and I'm not in a post-O time.




Yes, I probably could. But it becomes extremely uncomfortable for him if we get to a certain point and he doesn't O. I realize how silly this is.. Because he needs to learn how to be aware of his limits, but he gets really cranky...... I feel responsible. I want to change this by slowing down sex a lotttt, but I realize the more sensitive he becomes, the more he may feel that it's necessary to O, even when he's past a two week range.

I could express my gratitude with a massage, which I do a lot.

It wasn't so much that I did it because I felt I had to, but because I was also turned on,.. For both our sakes, I see how it would be good to start training ourselves to stay out of the no-o zone. I think we're both still feeling out if we want to dedicate to karezza. I know for sureeee, that I do better without orgasm (in all my life) and going sloth-slow makes amazing comforting and depth over any other sensation. He still enjoys fast sex sometimes :/ which I don't want to do anymore, because I realize my heart isn't present for it. I know he's also said he wants to do slow sex and he's not sure why we haven't started it before. The only thing that keeps pulling us back to quicker sex is - truly- me, when I don't say no to faster sex, and also when I decide to have an orgasm, which takes away any comforting feeling from slow sex, so we often don't have sex or nothing at all.

Please talk me out of it LOL


He's gone without orgasm for over a month, when we weren't having sex at all. But we've never done regular karezza, no-o for both at the same time.