So yesterday I started my period, so this morning in bed we were aware. I wanted him to be inside me, but he didn't want to, and that was fine with me, I just wanted to either cuddle or go down on him- for me, it is relaxing, and perhaps it helps me imagine him inside me (which I know isn't the best, because it's in my mind) but I think I truly do enjoy giving him pleasure and having him in my mouth - sorry if too detailed, that's how it is. .. He usually comes after this, which he seems to be fine with, although I need to talk with him more to ask if it's alright that he does this.. anyways
this morning we ended up dry humping a lot, I wanted him to be inside, but we didn't have a condom or plastic bag on hand, so we didn't. I'm fine with him being inside on my period, he isn't.
I think as time went on, I became more and more craving him to be inside - in a still karezza like way - but the more we dry humped, the more he realized that if he was inside, he would want to thrust, which he promised me that he wouldn't do because it triggers a lot of bad feelings for me unless my vagina is already fully responding, aware, and calling/drawing his penis inside me, and I have gotten to that "no goal" mode. ...
side note: it's like I have to ride a little bit up the mountain of pleasure to the point that I feel him inside of me when we have still sex, but then I just stay there because he's already inside and there is no more goal for me except feeling.
So the problem and insight that I found (crisis- challenge and opportunity in chinese) is that I do not feel frustrated in the morning when we are just in cuddle mode. But soon after, I want him inside of me. This isn't a problem for either of us. However, if I'm on my period, we need to be ready to have a condom or plastic bag or something so that he can be inside. If we decide not to be inside, continuing for him is fine- because his penis is still being touched or rubbed by dry humping. But I think that we should not continue unless he can be inside or we just cuddle, because dry humping leaves me feeling left out and sad. The touching of my clit is okay, but it does not feel connecting to him because my vagina isn't touching.
Dry humping for any time at all when I'm on my period is also a problem because the more we do it, the more likely he will want to thrust once he decides he wants to be inside of me. So, it's better to not dry hump at all, and have him be inside of me from the beginning, so that I can have slow time together at first.
He also says that when I get turned on, it becomes exponentially harder for him to be still inside of me. So, again, another reason for us to not dry hump, because I get turned on without satisfaction.
I'm probably writing this in my post sex experience emotion of sadness, that feeling "left out" that I get when he does not stay inside me for a long time.
still I want to find a balance between being still and feeling him inside and moving more. We'll see. Right now, all I know is, I feel a little sad still, and I can and will move on to do different things that we need to get done today, but I need to keep in mind that these emotions are still here.
Hopefully, as we both stop eating cooked foods this year- we are raw vegans- then I will hopefully have a lighter and lighter- and hopefully eventually no period! it sounds weird and unhealthy, but many raw vegan women still ovulate without a bloody mess.. that's right- having babies without a period! :) so hopefully that's what happens to me within a few years and I won't have to deal with this period stuff getting in the way of PIV ever again
so, in order for me to feel closure from this, next time, we will use either a condom or plastic bag and do PIV as soon as possible :) or we will realize that we don't want to do PIV and not engage in dry humping.
I need PIV! females with periods still have needs!! bahhhhhh
okay I'm done