My boyfriend was very on with cues of slowing down and laying still and being slow with me tonight. I was also more vocal about my needs and he wanted me to share. There was also some laughter about it, and he found a new position of sitting on his thighs with me laying down and my bottom pulled towards him. It felt very open (like I could breathe and relax). And when I relaxed more into this for several moments, my vagina felt him!! I relaxed almost completely, and he felt it immediately (my vagina relaxing around him). He seemed relaxed by it too.
Two days ago I had another orgasm along with becoming sick from a family member, so I am not feeling good at all.
Oh my- so I definitely know that there is such a huge difference between a no o life and a back and forth o/no o life. I feel so fatigued, sad, lethargic.... Question my own abilities a lot. I feel worried that life will not go the way I want it to with my boyfriend.. That is, I feel like I won't be able to achieve my goals and that my boyfriend will fall out of love with me... This is a total projection of MY INTERNAL STATE.
So, despite that I was finding quite the sweet spot of success in lovemaking with my boyfriend with relaxing and feeling connection because it was genuine and I was not performing- check my other recent post- I seemed to forget just how important it is to have a genuinely desired connection, rather than a connection that seeks to be genuine.
I don't know if you've had this experience, but I can explain.
So hello- i haven't been on here in awhile. Recap of my bf and my experiences regarding karezza. We've been together over a year now and it's been one helluva ride- a bumpy one for sure. Beginning in our relationship we had a lot of sex and then I realized I felt almost no pleasure from it, so I read Cupid's Arrow that he suggested I read, and I was entranced by the concepts of sex hormones affecting not only my sex life but my relationship and emotional life.... Which was anxious at best, unstable and depressive at worst..
If you want to hear about specific feedback that I'd like to hear from others, please read the end, but if you'd like to understand where I'm coming from you can read the whole thing THANK YOU
So, update on where and what my bf have been doing the past two months..
So yesterday I started my period, so this morning in bed we were aware. I wanted him to be inside me, but he didn't want to, and that was fine with me, I just wanted to either cuddle or go down on him- for me, it is relaxing, and perhaps it helps me imagine him inside me (which I know isn't the best, because it's in my mind) but I think I truly do enjoy giving him pleasure and having him in my mouth - sorry if too detailed, that's how it is. .. He usually comes after this, which he seems to be fine with, although I need to talk with him more to ask if it's alright that he does this..
So, just a quick short update that this morning, my boyfriend was willing to stay inside me for awhile without movement, and I was allowed the space to feel energy move up into my chest. I felt a deep sense of relaxation. I told him thank you twice, I felt so grateful for him allowing the space and time for me to respond to him down there.
My boyfriend and I have been having more karezza influenced sex since the middle of November. That means, he ejaculates at least once a week.. Although I have not had an orgasm for over a month- and I am just fine with that
So, today we woke up and cuddled, smiled, laughed, and rolled around in bed, although I could tell that he wanted PIV. I was not wet, so I gave that as a rule for myself that he shouldn't be inside-- maybe we could have used lube?-- idk.
I told him I wasn't wet, and he said that he thought I wanted more PIV. I said yes, but only when I'm wet. Again- should I allow more calm PIV with lube rather than waiting?