I thought I would post a quick update. I have now moved in with Rachel and I am living with her full time. At the moment we are having sex once a week at weekends and it's plenty for both of us as we are tired from and hobbies most of the time. We still have a laugh and have bonding cuddles at bedtime during the week and that keeps us connected.
Update from me now that I have passed the 6 month mark.
I masturbated in the early hours of the morning on Day 142, the day after my last update. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I was initially very disappointed, but since then I haven't masturbated, still haven't watched any porn and things continue to go well for me. Rachel and I are still together and going strong which is great.
Things continue to go well. Today is a real landmark day in some respects. I am well and truly into triple figures. I'm more convinced than ever that everyone should have the same goal of 100 days. Even if you don't feel you need it, you will get far greater benefits than if you pat yourself on the back after completing 20 days and then go back to jerking yourself senseless.
Last weekend was fairly flat. I didn't have a lot of sex drive and couldn't really get hard. Rachel and I tried once or twice to have sex but I think we were both very tied and we just settled for cuddling. It was nice though. We just held each other close and talked and then dozed off in a each others arms.
Life continues to be busy. Still finding it very easy to abstain from P and M. The habit is definitely locked in now.
I had a few moments of fantasy in the last week but we're talking no more than 30 minutes in total over about 7-10 days. I think I may have had a dream about a girl who lived next door to me. Can't really remember if it was sexy or not. None of this lead to a desire to P or M. As I have said numerous times before, it's simply not an option any more.
It's just gone midnight and I am about to go to bed but thought I would post briefly to let people know how I have been doing.
Some great sex earlier in the week as documented in the last blog post. But the last two times I have had sex it hasn't been as good. I have orgasmed but I think that my frequency of orgasm has become too high. On Saturday morning with Rachel I couldn't get hard and couldn't stay hard. Like I said, I did come but it wasn't good. As I know from my PMO days, it is possible to orgasm and ejaculate with a very small and soft penis.
Quick update for those who read this. I am just about to go to bed at the end of Day 92. I had successful sex with Rachel last night. Erection was maintained for about 25 minutes, although the last 5 minutes of that it got softer and softer. Initially though I just spent time looking at my penis as it is the first time in about half a decade that I have seen it at 90+% hardness. It felt great. I achieved it with very minimal manual stimulation from Rachel using the lightest of touches for no more than a few seconds. I didn't touch it at all.
I'm just going to post some thoughts up here after I was doing some reading both on this site and YBOP last night. Here is the Abstinence Toolkit. This is how to recover from porn addiction.
You need to stop watching this. The mechanics of it are the same/similar as real sex, as we are all human beings. But that is where the similarity ends. Even the mechanics aren't the same all the time. People performing sexual acts with no emotional connection and willingly doing things with what seems like very little preparation or foreplay is not the way it works in real life.
I am just heading to bed after another week of no PMO. Stayed at Rachels again this weekend and we attempted sex twice. I didn't come as I couldn't stay hard for that long. On both occasions there were flashes of being absolutely rock hard, but then it faded. I felt tired and also started to get nervous and WANT an erection too much and not really focus on Rachel or the situtation and thus I lost it.
I had sex with my girlfriend Rachel on Day 76. She went to bed shortly after we had welcomed in the New Year and then she surprised me by wearing some nice lingerie. During foreplay I got really hard within about 2 minutes and with minimal touching and no fantasy, simply focusing on the physical sensations that I was experiencing through my 5 senses at that moment in time.