Day 0 – July 30

Submitted by Trader on
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I am writing this mainly for my own motivation and to insure I finally succeed, pure willpower alone is not sufficient, nor is bribery. (I tried paying my friend $50 everytime I slipped up and PMOed) This is to keep me disciplined. I have been attempting no pmo since the start of September 2012 when I knew it was time to fix myself. Though I have had many crushes and many girls I’ve been infatuated with there is only one I truly fell for. I remember being close with her, cuddling in her bed laughing, walking arm in arm around the city. I still feel a dull emptiness now. Call her the canary in the coal mine, I lost her because of an issue I didnt even know I had. That’s why I’m doing this, so I wont lose the next one over the same issue. 90days in exchange for a lifetime of happiness and love is a trade I stand determined to take. Regarding that girl, it was ruined due to a lifetime of porn escalation and no longer being used to human intimacy. My journey has been filled with relapse. Since starting September I lasted a month, until one fateful night I got drunk and annoyingly used my phone at night to cure my desire. After that I lasted another month. I took up working out and got a job at one of the largest financial firms. Since then I have been relapsing and lasting on average 15 days to a month. The culprit responsible for these relapses is the easy accessibility to my phone late at night (no blockers, grrrrr) and alcohol. As well as reconnecting with that girl and then relapsing because she gets mad at me for whatever idiotic reason. I have relapsed probably 10-15 times this way...

Mood: 2.5/10
gloomy day and nothing to be excited about – though I realize life is all how you look at it and how you perceive it. I have a potential inflow of investment which could be amazing for my dreams and aspirations (to one day become a successful small hedgefund manager). A little sad because I have been trying to get that girl back in my life and she ignored me. Since the start of May I would compare my relation with this girl to Enron stock during the scandal. This has broadly damaged my happiness levels. How pathetic I must sound...

This is my finale, where I go the full way, no more excuses. It’s time to step up to the plate, and obliterate. This 100 day period will be devoted to Health, Wealth, and Happiness. The health portion is referring to a daily workout regimen and pushing myself harder than before. My goal in this segment is to get a six pack (and cut out as much alcohol as possible). The Wealth portion is devoted to my financial state, both in regards to trading and landing new accounts at my job. The happiness portion is nofap, which goes hand in hand with love, assuring the next time love falls in my lap I can fully capitalize on it.

Comments

You certainly don't sound pathetic

It's often challenging to quit, and alcohol has caused many a relapse. Nor are you the first person to get hooked on the wrong person.

There are porn blockers for phones. Post on one of these forums to find out the best blockers:

YOURBRAINREBALANCED.COM

r/Pornfree

REDDIT.NoFap

NoFap.in

In fact, they may be better places for you, because there are lots of guys on all of them dealing with the same issues.

Good luck!