[Women who] never had an orgasm, how they want sex more or less frequently than their partner does, how they have no idea how a woman’s apparatus is put together, or how they have no interest in sex at all anymore... The men are not satisfied with the cultural myth that women will never enjoy sex as much as they do. The women are not willing to give in to the idea that sexual desire inevitably wanes with age and familiarity...
Time for a long overdue catchup, a brief breath after 8 weeks of very long days.
Theres two threads that caught my attention lately. The first is strawberryfields: How do I convince him that karezza isn´t just making you horny?
There's this little bombshell from the more lately talkative hotspring:
You have to learn to love before you can learn to live.
-- Harry Harlow, (paraphrased).
The 7 weeks since my last posting have been a fairly chaotic time. For a start my beloved resigned her job, and we moved house. We are living in temporarily accommodation, with few creature comforts and lots to do to make the place habitable. Add to that financial pressures and all the usual holiday period family events and travel, all of this has placed considerable pressure on the strength of our usual rhythms, harmony and balance.
But a woman who is in sexual “lockdown” (the inability to feel sexual desire and sustained arousal) can’t seem to take the first awakening step on this journey. I was one of the millions of women in this locked-down condition. Until now. (Donna P)
Its probably unavoidable, but its always a pity when people in these types of communitys get beyond novicehood and then disappear. So im trying to post something each month, even though things are chugging along on a decidedly even keel, and nothing terribly eventful happening. But interestingly enough just today something very exciting occurred.
There is a distinct shortage of loving couples sharing what they're learning - hotspring
Karezza is like breathing, its a good idea to do it regularly. - treehouse
Its been a while so i thought id try to catch you all up on about a month or so of our "not quite post beginner" karezza life.
You are entirely responsible for cutting through your own laziness, addictions, and unclarity. There is nothing to wait for and nobody to blame... You could meditate until you're blue in the face, but it won't work, if, when it comes down to it, you'd rather masturbate, read the newspaper, or watch TV than cut through your addictions, discipline your daily life, and give your gift from your deepest, most blissful source. (Deida,D 1997:115)
This post contains three weeks, owing to having been away. The theme however is Solidity, and that’s because things really feel like they are jelling into place for myself, my beloved and our relationship.
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson. - Tom Bodett
Week 18 is a week finds us on the one hand celebrating our progress, but find the week in general to be dominated by crisis. I see this as a Test, but maybe i'm a masochist. Anyway can the balance and harmony engendered by our karezza journey help us withstand external crises and personal weakspots? Do i, in adversity, become better acquainted with himself? Hopefully.
This is kind of an emergency update, for which id be really grateful of support. The below is an extract from week 18, from this mornings journal.
The lower dan tian is the reservoir of the yin and earthy energy called jing, "life essence" — the germ of life, vitality, and sexual energy...Externally, jing [is] nourished by sexual harmony and proper nutrition [..] Internally, [when] the lungs and kidneys are healthy, their energies combine to produce jing. (Cohen,K 2005:25)
Men too, have accumulated tensions and pains though misunderstanding, misuse and abuse of their wonderful male antennae. [Ed. No kidding?] (Richardson,D 2003:123)
This week is the first week that i can remember on this journey without shedding a single tear. And what with finding a real home in my breath, building a relationship with my dark side, and more outbursts of chronic laughing it feels like i am Beginning to Heal.
Self knowledge is...the basis of all other knowledge.
To learn we must be free to err, to make mistakes, for in correcting our mistakes, we advance the process of learning in a way unique to our species. We evolve precisely because of the extraordinary scope of error we have been allowed. (Lash,J 2006:210)
Owing to certain indiscretions, I was going to theme this week Recommittment, but as i reflect upon the week and compare it with week 12, while the latter was also a week of slip ups, it was actually themed Breakthrough.
In spite of the slip ups, i still feel well, our relationship is stronger than ever, karezza just gets better and better, it feels almost like a spirit of forgiveness is tentatively seeping into my life. After some tears, I decide to go with Learning to Forgive.