It feels great to be in control. That's the way I feel a lot now - in control of my emotions and not giving in to emotional powerplays from the females. :) or anyone else for that matter. Don't feel I'm fully recovered yet, but I'm so far back to normal it's not far any more now. I've picked up enough speed and momentum too. Nothing's going to stop me now...
It just popped into my head how this desensitization of self that I'm trying to recover from started.
I was reading a post off of http://reddit.com/r/nofap where some guy was saying how he got soo turned on by seeing a girl's shoulders and then it hit me - guys are naturally supposed to be moved by sight of lady's bodies, even their shapes, or their smell even. A lady could be wearing a turtle neck or a maxi dress and the shapes and curves would still get me aroused then - this is now happening to me - I really enjoying looking at real life women now and having them catch my eye.
Anyways you can imagine how hard it was as a teenager to concentrate when you're surrounded by beautiful females everywhere!!!
But nowadays, there are all sorts of attire for the female that make an already impossible situation much more difficult. There's much more skin being exposed everywhere you look! So there's pressure for the guy uninformed about the dangers of PMO to escape from the pressure of not physically enjoying the sights.
Sometimes, the person I'm becoming is a bit scary - only because he's a much stronger, much more focused person. It's interesting to be meeting him and getting acquainted. I just started playing outdoor soccer now and it's fun. I feel like I was dead, but now I'm alive. Why wouldn't I want to be alive. Whoever's behind porn, they're very evil. Very evil.