Reboot : 51 days

Submitted by trueloveskiss on
Printer-friendly version

and counting...



There are a couple of things I'm noticing...
As the days have progressed, my ability to be calm despite the situation has increased. I have noticed an increased feeling of lightness in my head - like my brain is coming to life. Makes sense cause of the rewiring of neurons and stuff. Don't know how to explain it better. I like having the shower on high blast on my head and alternate warm and cold water. It relaxes me somewhat.

Also, I've noticed having to deal with my emotions afresh - such as having to deal with some self esteem, family, relationship issues - typical daily stuff - but it feels like I was 'blind' or 'deadened' to them - like I'm continuing from previously stunted growth of my social self. (Does that make sense?) Again, makes sense cause of the 're-configuration' going on. For example, basically much of the situations are about how I want to respond to things and how I want to decide how they affect me.

I've been working out as much as I can. I am now irritated by things that disturb my workout now. Because it's been quite important for me as a place to release my energy. Days I don't workout I've noticed a tendency to wake up in the middle of the night horny. My body's looking better and I feel better.

All of this is helping me see that good things take time so I've become more patient and less prone to respond to situations too quickly. I'm having more fun observing myself and life and everything. The idea of karezza I even understand more and more now. It seems a spiritual thing that promises to edify. The more I've read people's experiences about it on this site and thought about it, it feels that way and its definitely something I'll be trying with my SO when I see her next.

:) Yup totally natural.

Kind of exciting and yet I'm seeing life is meant to be a gentle process of new vistas and experiences.
It may get really bumpy sometimes but it can fun even through the bad times.

She is??? Will be seeing her at christmas.