Female Ejaculation

Submitted by UM Rev on
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Since my last blog entry began to focus on this phenomenon, I decided to post it as a new entry by itself. The topic is female ejaculation. It's something my wife has begun to experience, and something that brings her great pleasure. It's hard to imagine that something that looks like peeing the bed would bring pleasure. But, apparently, it is a different feeling altogether.

I think we're going to be investing in some pads from the pharmacy....

After doing quite a bit of searching on Google, I've found this site, which seems to have the most comprehensive information about female ejaculation. Hope you enjoy the read as much as I did.




No orgasm

I think better to focus on no orgasm, no ejaculation, no heightened states of arousal. That fluid doesnt have to be the result of an orgasm! In fact it is much more special when it doesn't. A book that helped us in the beginning is called The Karezza Method by John William Lloyd. It will be a good read while you are fasting and it explains what this Karezza journey is all about. It's about love and bonding, sensation not stimulation, closeness and oneness, truth and love, time spent with the one you love, gentle gentle intercourse, without orgasms, of any kind!

It feels like

From reading your posts lately, it feels like you are falling back toward goal-oriented sex (and it's understandable as you are now so excited to have found each other again!)~~I've enjoyed hearing about how you are turning your marriage around and found new love for each other, but I'm afraid you are going to come full-circle if you are not careful.

You are spending time and energy thinking about something in the *future* (a possible female ejaculation) when that is what takes you away from being present and in the moment.

But it *is* delightful to have so much fluid when you make love...I have copious amounts that come from me (as does he!), but it's not related to an orgasm per se. It's just what happens when two people are feeling their bodies and enjoying each other and exchanging energy. There has never been a time when there has not been lots and lots of juicy liquid and you know what? We never think about it! It just happens. If we were to want it or expect it it would probably never happen.

Just try to enjoy anything and all that happens. The present moment is the gift.

Yep and Yep and Yep

I agree with just about everything you have written.

On the other hand, I've also enjoyed reading your own posts and I am thinking that where you and your lover are at the moment is what I desire for me and my wife: pvi every day, with no goal other than to be in that state of bliss, which is what I experience whenever I am with her. Right now she says that even though she loves every time we connect, she cannot imagine it happening every day. Of course, this makes me want her all the more. So, the two of us definitely need this reboot, me thinks. It's very difficult right now, and hopefully the craving will dissipate in time.

What is ironic is that two months ago I could go for weeks without even thinking about intercourse. We are at such different places now and I find myself pinching myself to make sure this is for real.

On a related subject, even our kisses are profoundly better than before. When we used to kiss we did the probing tongue thing, or just a peck hello or goodbye type kiss. Now we love to kiss for long, extended periods of time. Even after we finish, I continue to feel the effects of the lip embrace down into my solar plexus. Very deep, and sensual. No more probing tongue thing for me. Isn't it something what we can still learn even in our late 50's?

I can't wait to get a handle on all this so I can pass it on to others. Smile

Thanks Rachel. Your lover is one blessed man.

the key is as always

being present when you kiss or make love.

Not try to invoke a future state of arousal. This is something my lover teaches me every day. I am so blessed to be going on this journey. My lover is not keyed into this stuff at all and it's a struggle sometimes to not compare where we're at with some imagined future state. But it's totally worth the struggle LOL.

Being present with how things are now is the greatest lesson I can ever learn and she teaches this to me constantly so eventually I get it.

It is really tempting to focus on our partner as that is how we are designed and habituated. I've had to learn not to do that and I think it's her great gift to me. And as far as pleasure and sensation are concerned, I've been finding mind blowing levels of that and never an orgasm in sight (at least for me.)

I have to go thank her now, again. She is so wonderful. 

Thanks for this great thread and I love reading your experiences, UM Rev.



Passionate kissing is *so* important and I think it's usually the first thing to go when two people start to lose touch with each other. So keep aware of that as it's easy to fall back into old patterns when you've been together for so long.

It sounds like the reason she can't imagine connecting every day is because it's just *so* much energy and emotion right now (and she is focusing on the future which has no place in karezza~~that's our minds getting control of us once again!). If you can both learn to relax into your bodies where lovemaking is easy and calm you will see it's something you can do as you fall asleep at night, when you are taking an afternoon nap, or in the morning when you're not quite ready to get up yet. It's just a beautiful way to plug into each other and keep your love flowing.

And when I say lovemaking is easy and calm I do *not* mean it's boring or there is nothing happening. Your bodies may be still, but the penis and vagina are very active and alive and communicating and pulsating! But that can only happen once you put your focus there and away from anything else (both of you). The more you do it and practice it, the easier it becomes. Your wife will start to feel incomplete if you don't have this as part of your day (and so will you).

I wish you both many happy years of ectasy!

We're all different too, I suppose

I say this because you and others on the reuniting web site share of daily pvi, while still others (including Marnia, if I remember my reading correctly), advocate alternating between pvi every other day with other bonding exchanges. I'm not sure where PW and I will end up on that continuum.

All I know is right this minute I am feeling not so good. I have this lovesick feeling I remember having as a teen. I also know I must have some hormonal fluctuations going on. For instance, I just I met my wife for lunch today, and all we did physical was to hold hands as we sat across the booth table from each other. That harmless touch and talking with her caused pre-E. That along with the general feeling of love sickness is getting to me.

I hope things calm down and settle soon. Thanks all for the kind words and encouragement.

Hang in there Rev

You will go thru some uncomfortable feelings but that comes with the territory. I think it happens any time we stop doing something we are addicted to. It might get worse before it gets better but like grandpa used to say, "suck it up boy" you can do this, and yes it is worth it. By the way, don't try to overthink it, that won't help. Just remember you have a lot to look forward to, time is on your side!

Not daily

You don't know my situation, but my lover and I normally only see each other only on the weekends (and have been doing it this way for the last 2-1/2 years)~~so we have many days in between our lovemaking~~but when we are together, we make the very best of it, lol. (just letting you know you're not the only one who is not having sex every single day!)

couple of points

1. I had very hungry needy and clingy feelings for several months. Actually until maybe 5 months into this. Maybe what you call "lovesick". Dunno but it wasn't pleasant and my wife reacted by pulling away, of course.

2. We have had intercourse maybe 3 or 4 times a week on average since this adventure began. We're on a schedule at the moment to help keep things contained.

3. Truth is, if you and she have had recent hot sex, you are both affected by ripples, as Marnia calls them. It seems very real as I've tracked it on a spreadsheet for the past 8 months and can see the post-O patterns.

It really does settle down. It really does.

Thank you

All of your comments / suggestions have been very helpful. This web site is great. I really can't imagine having this conversation with just anyone at the local coffee shop. I live in a small town. On the other hand, it would give some of the locals something to talk about. Blum 3