Time to reboot?

Submitted by UM Rev on
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I wrote a much longer entry, but I took too long to post it, and it was lost. But, just as well. I tend to write and talk too much anyway.

Long story short, my wife and I have decided to try a reboot. Our love making is much improved and much more enjoyable. We are together longer, slower, and more sensual. But, I seem to be wanting more and more, and she is beginning to want less and less, mostly because she is getting tired. She never did master karezza (probably because of my own enjoyment in watching and hearing her experience it).. I'm beginning to O more frequently too. I also can't seem to get enough of her, to the point where I believe it is unhealthy.

So, we're going to give the reboot another try, and this time I believe we're serious about it. She still holds loving thoughts toward me, so this has to happen now before things get out of hand.

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You're a good mammal! :-)

Believe me, it's hard to ignore those signals. After all, biology's goal is to get us to exhaust our sexual desire in fertilization attempts...until one partner or the other pulls away. Very sneaky...but very effective. Humans are, after all, overrunning the planet.

I think you could be in for some delightful discoveries, but at first it's going to be a bit like watching paint dry...so be patient and don't judge anything for a couple of weeks. You may find yourselves in a mini-withdrawal for a bit after all that heat.

*big hug*

Marnia, you are the best

You are a gift to many, many people, including me. I appreciate your *hug,* and I would be honored to meet you and Will in person. Maybe that time will come.

I will need all the encouragement I can get, as this could be a very long 2 weeks. When I am near my wife I have a very difficult time keeping myself at the warm and cuddly level without quickly escalating to wanting more and more. I have the "roamingest" hands on the planet. Plus, since gaining a newly re-born appreciation and love for my wife, I can't seem to take my eyes off of her. Also, fyi, we learned from Diana R. a better way to kiss. Since then, I can't seem to kiss her or even sit with her without leaking pre-ejaculate. Geesh!

So, thanks again for the *big hug.*

Exciting news

If you haven't done it before, brace yourself you are in for one hell of a ride.

Every guy has lessons to share from his reboot, im not sure i really have any. I always wanted to be an explorer when i grew up, and when i rebooted that's what i got to be, an inner explorer. Each day was a surprise, good , bad or otherwise, and, as a result , i learnt a huge amount about myself.

What can i say, have a good one Rev!

Good for you Rev

My wife and I have done the same thing a number of times. We did it way before we learned about Karezza. I am sure you already know this but some other readers here may not.

It is not called rebooting in the Bible but Paul does talk about it in 1 Cor 7. He calls it a period of abstinence. It is a good thing but it is not always easy, for my wife and I we must do what Paul says and devote ourselves to prayer.

1Cor 1-7 1 Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? 2-6Certainly—but only within a certain context. It's good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I'm not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.

Blessings on your reboot/abstinence brother. *Big Hug*, Yeah, I know, its not cool for guys to hug each other.

Now we are re-considering the re-booting

We are a hopeless cause, LOL. In some ways hopeless, but in other ways, extremely hope-filled. You decide.

This morning the wife and I were snuggling on the couch catching the news. I actually felt very good, and optimistic, that this re-booting might work for us. I had nothing but warm thoughts toward her, and it just felt good cuddling with her. "There's hope!" I thought to myself. This re-booting might be possible.

After a while I went upstairs, showered, changed clothes, and went downstairs. While I was in the kitchen putting together a lunch to bring with me, PW walked in, with "that look" in her eyes, gave me a very long kiss, and put her hands down on my positive pole. Well, about 1 1/2 hours later, I finally left the house with a very light step and a gleam in my eye, leaving behind an extremely satisfied wife. Let's just say neither of us have very little will-power. But, perhaps we don't need to re-boot after all.

Recently we had gotten off course, which was the reason for the re-boot decision. And yet, this morning it seems as if we have reached new heights and new revelations. Here's what happened:

This morning we shared very slow, face to face PVI which was out of this world, even better than we had experienced before a few weeks earlier. I did not climax or ejaculate, and she did not have the standard peak orgasm. I admit to bringing her close a few times, but drawing her back down. After a while I asked her if I should take her "over the edge," to which she replied "Yes, or else I'll be frustrated all day."

Instead of fingering the clitoris, which is my usual method of bringing her to the peak, I continued with slow, in and out movement. Then as I withdrew about an inch, and began moving side to side, she began indicating where I should move, which gave me an idea:
"Reach down and move it where it feels good to you."

She very willingly obliged, reached down and with the thumb and index finger, gently maneuvered my penis inside her vagina. After about a minute, and with no excitement whatsoever, she overflowed with this perfectly clear, completely odorless liquid. It was enough to soak the sheet, the pad, and the mattress. With that, she looked perfectly content, and said, I had this desire to release, but I just had to find the right spot. And, this is better than any "standard" orgasm."
"Really???"
"Really."

So, guys and gals, what say you? I've read about valley orgasms. Was that what my wife experienced? I've read about squirting, but it wasn't that. It was more like those large rock fountains where the water just gently flows out all over. And, It most definitely was not urine. We first experienced this a couple of weeks ago, the first day we had ever made love the karezza way. But, it's all still very new to both of us. One thing is for sure:
She absolutely loves it. It's also very cool that she doesn't miss the run-of-the-mill peak O.

So, maybe we don't need to re-boot after all? What do you think? Both of us feel great. I have this tremendous sense of well-being today, along with warm, good feelings for my wife. She feels the same toward me. We obviously don't have it all together yet, but it sure has been fun learning. Smile

So, for you more experienced folks out there, what insights can you provide the two of us love birds?

see how you feel about her a few days from now

and how she feels about you.

That's the way to figure this stuff out.

But there is really and truly a delay.

And it's your feelings that can gauge how this experiment works out.

You are blessed with a wife who isn't afraid to figure out what she wants and tell you what that is, when you ask. You are a lucky man and she is a lucky woman. So glad you are posting here.

Thanks, can you answer this one?

"So, what say you? I've read about valley orgasms. Was that what my wife experienced? I've read about squirting, but it wasn't that. It was more like those large rock fountains where the water just gently flows out all over. And, It most definitely was not urine."

Are you familiar with this, Emerson?

A few thoughts

Hi Rev, I have gleaned some really useful info from this group of Karezzanauts. This place can be very helpful.
I'm not too sure what it is you want or need to change but to quote Marnia, " if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten" and so maybe that will help. I hope so, there are couples around you who are going to be needing your advice, armed with all the info you have at this site and with your own experiences you should be a big help to them. Hang in there, keep us posted, will be interested to see what the next few days brings.

Yep, there are many couples,

especially clergy, who could use some help in this area. So thanks. I really do want to help others as soon as I get a handle on what my spouse and I are learning.

I guess one of the main questions I have is about the "overflow." Does your partner experience this, or any different type of valley orgasm?

Overflow

Not too sure what you mean by overflow but so far neither one of us has had an orgasm. We have been having Karezzacourse on a daily basis for about an hour a day for over eight weeks now. We have come close a few times but so far we have been able to keep from going over the edge.

Overflow

I was not sure what you meant by overflow, but isn't it something special in this world! Now that we are both used to it we love it. It's a beautiful thing and it is a sure way to know everything is 10-4 with wifey!

Honestly,

all sorts of claims are made about female ejaculation. One of the most popular women posters arrived here...an expert in this. But she was still churning through men at an amazing pace.

Less focus on orgasm and more karezza has led her to marriage and a stable relationship.

So my thought is that all that matters is what happens between the ears. And as emerson says, you can only figure that out during the two weeks after a sexual experiment. So just keep watching.

The goal is balance, contentment and wellbeing...not any particular type of "orgasm," including "valley." Wink

That said, I'm not ruling out that your wife needed that experience. Who knows? Just keep watching. And try not to set that experience as your goal, because the goal is interior...not a matter of fluid releases of any kind.

well, back to the reboot.

Thanks for all the input everyone. When I got home my wife was reading CPA. I've been wanting her to read it for weeks so I was glad to see her taking it seriously.

To the point, we are back to the reboot. She said that although she really enjoyed our morning, shee was too unsettled all day. I will do anything for her, including practicing abstinence for a week.

So, PW answered the question I had-- we're on to the Exstatic Echanges. In fact, we just finished the first one a couple of minutes ago. She thanked me and went to sleep. I went downstairs to write, watch a little TV, check email, FB, make some popcorn, and think about how blessed I am.

Yes, you're blessed

Just so you know...the Exchanges in Cupid call for daily bonding behaviors...but no intercourse until week three.

Can you handle that? Mosking

Part of what you're learning is to learn to enjoy all bonding activities...not just intercourse. Once you master that, and intercourse is (almost) "optional," you'll be a master of karezza. Wink In other words, don't consider yourself in a meaningless holding pattern "until you can have real sex." It's what you'll learn without the intercourse that will be most valuable over the long haul.

This may not make much sense for a couple of weeks, so don't worry if it doesn't.

must have been a subconcious wish

Yep, I know it isn't until week three when penis arrives home again. I've been using my phone to post which is my excuse for spelling and other errors. Or deep down I may have been hoping ffor just a week. And no, it doesn't make much sense to me right now, which could be evidence that I really need this time. I'm a very seually alive individual (read "horny"). My wife woke up this morning to share how much she enjoyed the first exchange. I shared that I went downstairs out of frustration. Popcorn helps, I think I will be eating a lot of popcorn in the next two weeks. LOL. Seriously, I really do hope that this process is worth it. I will keep you posted.

Yes, it will seem like

a crazy idea for about two weeks. Wink But the crazy will pass, and you're likely to find that your horniness was partly cravings, rather than true libido. You'll understand the difference in a few weeks.

If you haven't ever

tried abstinence or "fasting" from sex you should try it. In the past when we did it, we would go for 4 weeks. I always kept a daily journal about the whole experience, moods, arguments, closeness, things we did together, etc. It will be worth it, just pray together with your love, God will get you through it and you will be glad you both made the sacrifice for each other. We still talk about the times we have done it and it has been years. Being able to see and experience your union with each other, without sex, is very rewarding, knowing that what really holds you two together isn't sex. Like Marnia says, keep up the bonding so you don't drift apart!

Keep up the popcorn, try cooking it in coconut oil and using coconut oil on it instead of butter! We bought some coconut oil for the bedroom but have found we like it better in the kitchen! It is great to cook with.

speaking of food for this

I have in my blog an observation where I found that if I go very low carb my huge feelings for my wife diminish dramatically. I'm eating paleo and pretty low carb but not ultra low carb, and I have to be careful not to go too low in my carb intake because I love those feelings I have for her (and for life in general) and hate to lose them even for a few days.