To reboot or to rewire...that is the question!

Submitted by Visage on
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All,

I am seeking advice and opinions. I had a 9 week reboot finishing in Dec, I then had 3 months of MO bing with chat girls (no visual) and fantasy, 3rd person and elaborate, nothing that is likely to happen in reality, characters with themes etc.

A month ago i took a blue pill and went with a girl from the red light district, i was absolutely rigid (my body not my dick) with fear, so much so that my body ached, i managed to get erect but didnt really feel much of an erectionwith the condom on, all of this was oral. Nor did i feel overly horny. But i was relieved after many years i at least was with a girl, that was nice in itself and a huge relief. I tried penetrating but things went soft almost immediately.

3 weeks on and i had about 10 days of rebooting, but MO's had one fantasy chat but have knocked it on the head now (its a hard habit to break).

Last week i saw her again, this time i was much more relaxed (blue pill again), still wasnt overly horny, though i was hard much more easily, part of this was due to being more relaxed, i also watched in the mirror (i wonder if that is bad as it was a bit like watching porn). I could have asked her to go on top and had sex, but i am in no rush and i like the fact that i have built a history of erections with her, if not with penetration, at least that way she knows i can get it up! That makes me feel more and more confident.

Since the second visit i am thinking about fantasy in first person much more 99% perhaps, whereas previously it was 99% but in 3rd person. When i think about her good bits Wink I get a tingly feeling and reaction below, so defo some rewiring is going on here.

My question is this. Next week i am there again, do I go with a new girl (as she wont be there this time) and continue rewiring, I will prob use the blue pill again as its a new girl. Or do i take this opportunity to spend maybe 5 or 6 weeks rebooting instead, no MO?

Given my previous 9 weeks pure PMO abstinence, only a few mins of porn, no PMO since then, but fantasy chat), should i continue with another no sex thoughts MO reboot. Or continue by rewiring?

The rewiring experience is kinda nice, but at the same time, I want to be properly fixed and it appears to be the case (based on others here and even my own experience a few years ago) that having sex can slow this process down.

All views are welcome

Regards
Vis

Comments

hi Infinity

Thanks for your reply. Yes deffo ED had it for many years but only a year or so ago realised why. I am deffo off the fantasy chat now, I did not realise how bad it was until I realised recently that I had gone backwards since I stopped my PMO reboot.

I think your last line is what I was looking for in terms of advice\opinion because as you stated fantasy chat is bad for someone recovering and its not natural behaviour. I can still tell I'm not fixed as my natural desire is to fantasise when the erections don't come (hopefully that will stop with more real life experience) and I can not get erect to sensation only. Given I can get erect albeit with help, though I will ween off those pills, I think I will continue with being with a woman every few weeks, no pressure on intercourse though as I'm not there..yet, just getting erections around a girl is a huge boost for me no matter how it occurs.

Interestingly I feel the same, no more excitement about being with a woman than I did when I used to be horny and run home to fantasy chat. That seems boring now, but ever so enticing and normal when you have not been with a woman for several years. Now I have my confidence back to some extent, I think its best to keep going, another long period without a woman could send me into the same bad habits where bad habits seem normal, and then the anxiety of not being with a woman for so long will kick in again.
Thanks for your feedback, it's appreciated Smile

Well...

I went back, but the girl I was with last time wasnt there, I saw another one that i quite liked, but I really didnt feel horny, I'm not sure if i'm flatlining (I'm 8 days with out MO) or whether i just wasnt in the mood. Certainly i have wired significantly to the first as I get semi hard when i think of her first hand (rather than 3rd person fantasy) and as I wont be back for another 4 weeks at least, it gives me a good 5 or 6 weeks of MO abstinence before visiting her again. Staying of chat is difficult but i have held off thus far.

I wanted to keep the rewiring process going by having sex this time around, but i felt if i wasnt in the mood, and if failure followed, that will negatively impact my progress. At present i feel like this is just like porn as in one particular scene (or girl in this case) is the only one that turns me on, i hope as i gain more success with her (hopefully penetration a few times), then I will find other girls more attractive, ie the novelty will wear off with this one...or it may just be that the fear of failure is still there with anyone new and i need to get that out of my mind a bit more before I feel more adventurous with other girls. I will keep with the blue pill, gradually weening off until I have a solid history of success...right now i can not MO to sensation alone, so i'm not where i want to be and dont think i've rebooted sufficiently.

We shall see. Just wanted to jot my thoughts down.

Regards
Vis