I realize it's been a long time since I've posted here. For a long while I just lost my commitment to no PMO, holding out for 4-7 days at a time at most, though usually beating off at least once a day. But now I'm ready to re-commit, with my initial goal being no PMO for 30 days. I'm already ~1/3rd of the way there, so that's pretty encouraging :)
My no PMO effort is happening in conjunction with my fight against internet addiction. This week I made a commitment to an "electronic fast" (ie no computer, ipod, phone, tablet) and my productivity has shot up through the roof. So far I've cleaned my entire house, sorted through months of paperwork, starting exercising MUCH more, and am increasingly engaging in the activities I genuinely want to (eg/ going outside, meditating, cooking). Since then I've had to ease up on my restrictions a bit since being completely computer and phone-less is just too impractical, though eventually I want to reach a point where I can remove the internet in my house and rely on free wifi to get necessary work done.
So the restrictions are basically as follows:
1) Only use phone for calls/texting
2) Only use ipod for alarm clock & workouts
3) Only use tablet for reading when travelling
4) Only use computer for absolute necessities (eg/ schoolwork)
-Allowed up to 2 hours a day to read pdfs (set oven timer to keep me from going over)
-Avoid bookmarks unless I am looking for a specific website (eg/ gmail).
-Shut off computer when finished with it
There are some other self-help efforts underway, though I'll save those for other posts I guess. One of the major ones is to track how many consecutive days I maintain a clean kitchen, avoid masturbation, meditate, and abide by my media restrictions. Another is just to become more organized, work out some routines, read books about practical things like working out, running, increasing reading speed, etc.
Anyway, back to PMO.
[quote]9:25 pm- Meditation just keeps getting better and better. More drifting in and out of consciousness (I correct any slouching when this happens to prevent sleep), some pleasant, unfamiliar sensations, even continued past the 15 min timer (probably added 5-10 mins). In particular, towards the end I imagined sex in all its sensual detail- touching, hugging, staring into each other's eyes, feeling the woman's breasts, etc. It gave me a throbbing boner, something I can't even remember experiencing.[/quote]
I know it's weird to be thinking about sex during meditation, in fact some of my weirdest thoughts originate from meditation. But the point being, I managed to arouse myself more than I've felt in months, maybe all year, and without touch. I'm sure that must count for something.