Vyse's blog

Day 17 of Reboot

Submitted by Vyse on

Well here I am again.

Day after my last post was hard, some real gritting of the teeth moments at my danger time. However the best solution seems to be around friends when I can. Other times try and either distract myself if I am too close to the edge or do some more positive tasks.

There are some more positive signs from the reboot. Not going to count my chickens before they hatch though.

As I outlined in my first post I wasn't into full on, let alone heavy porn. Really just sexualized imagery. This means general browsing can be dangerous for me.

Day 12 of Reboot, wow already

Submitted by Vyse on

I am not saying I haven't had serious temptation, but this is getting easier at the moment. Hence why I haven't needed to post so much.

I am generally doing well, still some some anxiety and shortness with others, but on the whole nothing I can't handle.

I've been feeling a bit more confident at times and I can now use my home PC without being too blinded by the need for a session.

Day 9 of Reboot

Submitted by Vyse on

So far so good. Had a minor case of paranoia last night coming home from a friend's. I was tired and the car behind was on my back and did some odd things. On reflection it seemed to be a small white van rather than a car and tradesmen in white vans are infamous here. In fairness I am anxious about people on my back due to the low height of the front seats in my car (original design not modded).

Was a bit snappy as well at the weekend, but that passed. Need a way to vent.

Day 7 Reboot, Day 2 info and thank yous

Submitted by Vyse on

Today has been pretty good. I had to grit my teeth this morning before heading out, but I try and make a note of mentally patting myself on the back for self control. As mentioned on YBOP just using the stick of negativity isn't going to build myself up. The main benefit of self control is I can apply it to other situations.

Most of the day was fine as I went out and visited a friend and then help another out with things around their house. It was good to be in their company.

Day 6 of Reboot, backlog and history

Submitted by Vyse on

Well its Day 6 of my reboot. Day 5 was better I felt pretty good all day bar my usual danger times (morning/night). Today has been worse, more anxiety and more depression.

To give some back story I think I need to explain a few things.

Firstly I am not your usual porn addict for one big reason. The material I was viewing was at the most extreme either very light porn or fetishist in body shape, but not acts. Pretty much no sex at all. Really what I was in to was every day women clothed, some amateur pinup stuff and at most soft-core porn (topless, occasional nakedness).