Day 9 of Reboot

Submitted by Vyse on
Printer-friendly version

So far so good. Had a minor case of paranoia last night coming home from a friend's. I was tired and the car behind was on my back and did some odd things. On reflection it seemed to be a small white van rather than a car and tradesmen in white vans are infamous here. In fairness I am anxious about people on my back due to the low height of the front seats in my car (original design not modded).

Was a bit snappy as well at the weekend, but that passed. Need a way to vent.

Had to head out early to work today, ment an early night and early start. Was actually a relief as it got rid of two danger times. Only bad thing is I now have a long evening alone.

I think I will have to restart some of my old Internet habits pre porn addition. I used to do a bit of 3D rendering and the like. Will avoid using anything like Poser or the like as that would be too much temptation. Will stick to abstracts or landscapes.

I am finding just blogging here to be some of the best therapy I could imagine. Just getting some of this stuff off my chest is so nice.

I also need to research meditation and maybe go in for some relaxation massage.

I have always had a bit of a problem with deleting my virtual stash. In the past I would have a flash of guilt and delete the whole thing. The next day I would swing back the other way are restore from some old backups and go on an Internet rampage. In order to get away from that swing back I have deleted 90% (in terms of space) and closer to 97% in terms of files. Hording and guilt/perverse pleasure of that hording was one of the things that got me going. I specifically targeted the high guilt areas. Hopefully in the coming weeks I will have the will power to get rid of any old discs I have around and tackling the last of the virtual stash.

Yesterday I got rid of one of the accounts that would regularly update one of my email accounts. It was Yahoo Groups. I have now stripped down the memberships to the two non-porn/non-sexual accounts. As there is a high risk of relapse (to my mind) logging in to shut down accounts, I will do them one at a time and then leave. Although signing up for an account might be easy, it is easier still to recover a password. I need to remove the main offenders and prune the ones that like Yahoo Groups have an entirely non-porn and perhaps even positive angle to them like the Freecycle Yahoo Group.


go for it

get out, get out, never go back. Burn your ships. The legend is that Cortez landed in Mexico and ordered his men to burn all their ships. Because that would mean they had to go forward and could not chicken out. Dunno if that happened or not, but the idea is sound. Burn your accounts. So you can't easily go back.


Yep got rid of one more and converted another over to clean living you might say.
Major problems though, you can't delete phpbb accounts. So I removed all of the emails related to them, turned down notifications and removed any passwords in keepass.

Yes, abit

Like I said I really am not sporty.

However I have kept to my walking at lunch. Also benefit is I am commuting by bus more as my time keeping has improved. So I have a good brisk walk after work as well.