Day 12 no PMO or MO

Submitted by warriorfreedom on
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So today is day 12 of my current reboot, and it always seems to start getting tough and lonely at this point. I had a dream about an amazingly attractive and sweet girl who had a crush on me in college and I woke up feeling pretty melancholy because she lives so far away from me which is the case for most of the people I would like to re-connect with.

I have started to go to the gym, which seems to be helping me through this, but after the gym, I come back to my dads and am left feeling lonely and alone again. I live kind of far away from everything in a small town, so I would have to drive out to find social situations. I really liked the convenience of dating sites because I could connect with girls and fulfill that loneliness through e mail or Skyping, and eventually meeting in person. Although, I have recognized myself as not ready to have a relationship until I am a little further into my reboot, so I have since taken a break from dating sites because I could see myself using them as a comfort from the ache of no PMO, which maybe isn't a bad thing as long as the dating site is replacing looking at hardcore internet porn?

I would really like to make new friendships, but I have no idea how to start making friendships in my area in real life social situations. That is something that I could really use advice with from people who have been in this situation...Any advice?

Comments

Hey there

I don't know how useful my advice would be, since I am in a somewhat similar situation. I live in a medium-sized city with plenty to do, but most of my friends are paired off. After paying all my bills and filling up my car, I feel like I have very little discretionary income left for tickets to concerts, plays, and even movies, so I try to check out free events in town. Some of the people I have developed really close friendships with through an anime/fanfiction site live in other states or countries, so if I want to "see" them, I have to go on Skype or the internet. It gets to be a time suck, and for people struggling with internet porn addiction, I can see it putting them into a tempting situation.
But here's what I'm doing: I have some single friends, so I am getting back into physical touch with them. By that I mean instead of interacting through the phone and Facebook, I'm going to meet them in person. And if my friend invites me to a concert or reading, I'll go because at least I will be meeting more of the creative people who live and work in this city. I'm also going to work on getting out of my house more. I have a laptop, so I can do my teaching prep, fanfic writing somewhere else other than my home. I have a cute little dog who loves to meet people, so I can bring him to parks and use him for a conversation starter.
Check out Meetup.com for your town or region, so you can find groups of people with interests similar to yours. I keep putting it off, but I plan to set up a Meetup group for cosplayers/ anime fans in my city, since one currently doesn't exist.
Becoming a "regular" at certain places of business, i.e. bank branch, supermarket, coffee shop, post office, can help you practice social interactions that make it easier to chat with strangers who become friendly acquaintances. I like going to my local bank for that reason!

keep your head up bro

we all get lonely sometimes. I know I do. Just try not to dwell on it too much. you'll only cause yourself more pain if you think about that stuff. just focus on getting better and when you do, your find that girl that will make it all worth it. It'll happen just keep believing