Day 13 no PMO or MO (Issues with Father)

Submitted by warriorfreedom on
Printer-friendly version

So today has been day 13 of no PMO or MO and my addiction is panicking and looking for anything to itch the scratch. I am trying to just stay calm and relaxed. I feel very irritable and lonely and don't have a lot of motivation to do anything.

I am 23 years old and I live with my dad. A couple things I have noticed is his pattern of sexualizing and objectifying woman, my parents divorced 5 years ago. My mom is a spiritual healer and councilor and I have always took more to her spiritual sense and have searched for spiritual growth my whole life. My father on the other hand is more of a working class guy who doesn't have much interest in spiritual growth and kind of just believes whatever the news and media tells him, doesn't eat very well, and is a recovering alcoholic, so he is a prime example of someone who unconsciously sexualizes woman because it's all so normal to him, I guess he is what you would stereotype as a "Hick". Sometimes I can handle it and I just understand that him and I are on different paths, (He is very aware of my reboot and desire to stop PMO), but then at other times it disgusts me how naive he is to what it means to have a true respect and connection with a woman. I love my dad and I try to accept him for who he is, and I am thankful he let's me live with him rent free while I get my career going, but his spiritual immaturity, objectifying woman, and mood swings (he takes many antidepressants), makes it very hard to live with him.

I am very aware this could be just how I am perceiving the situation through my "PMO withdraw goggles," I hope it gets better...

Comments

Interesting

I don't want to be a nosypants, but if your mother is more of the spiritually evolved one who might better, can you communicate with her about this. I am divorced and share custody of my son, and while he loves his dad and me (and his dad is a good dad), we bond in different ways. My son can talk about emotions and such with me, whereas his dad is better at the life skills stuff. So as you struggle with lonelieness, rebooting from porn, your mother might be another source of loving, nonsexual female companionship. (I don't know how comfortable you'd feel talking about sexual issues with your mom, but talking to her about your loneliness, meditation practices, etc could be good).
It's hard when you see yourself spiritually/intellectually/emotionally evolving past your parents, especially if you essentially love them. I see that with my mom; I know how smart she was and is, but how childish and limited she can also be (and I'm not talking Alzheimer's here). In her case,it's lack of a college education. And as you are trying to get away from an addiction to particularly vicious porn, it can be hard to be around a father who encourages an objectifying, demeaning view of women. That's why I want you to get out of the house, gosh darn it! Go out to that lake, meditate, and hike! Hang out at the local coffee shop! Play your guitar in public! If you have a laptop with wireless service, use it only in public places, so a) you get out to meet real people, and b) you can't search for porn in a public place. You can do this; you did it before and you remember how good you felt, right? You know what triggered your setbacks and you learned what you need to do to recover from them and even to prevent them. Stay strong. (((warriorfreedom)))