Today is day 15 of no PMO or MO of this current reboot. I feel pretty good, although I have had some weird revelations pop into my head today. I was sitting here thinking how I would love to go out and have sex with a girl tonight, and then I started thinking "oh no, that's not a good idea, you need to stay away from that." I then started thinking to myself, sex is human nature and I feel like I am telling myself to deny my "man chemistry," which does not feel right to me. I understand why this is not a good idea to go out and have sex at this time because it may be too soon in my reboot, but at the same time, I don't want to be one of those people who starves themselves of sex because they feel it is bad. I love sex and I love "making love" even more! I am still waiting to find a woman that I can potentially fall in love with, and eventually make love with, but until then, I still have sexual feelings and I don't want to deny them or make them "something that doesn't work for me."
I once mentioned to a councilor I once had my concern over the type of sexual content that I was attracted to (stuff that leaned toward the darker sexual stuff). Her reply to me was "maybe that just what you are into, and you don't need to see it as a bad thing, it's just what you are into sexually." She also said that she councils many men who have the same concerns and just because they are into darker sexual things, does not make them wrong or bad for preferring that. I have been thinking those words she said, and I am starting to wonder... Why should what I am sexually into be considered "wrong or bad" if I am not hurting anyone and it is just what sexually excites me, and many other people in the world? Are all the people in the world who prefer rough, dominating, aggressive, or sadistic sex injured people?