It happened. The backlash against this mental resetting won last Friday night and my days have not been the same lately. Come two days later I binge on everything I shouldn't be doing. This was after 3 weeks of total abstinence which I'm very proud off, but obviously I still feel I need to get to the other side.
I was doing so well! I felt comfortable, confident, and dedicated to this issue and in a matter of seconds it was all over. What a pathetic state I reached! But now I'm coming out of the tunnel again. I must learn from this mistake and move forward. I will never again go to my bed unless I'm so tired that falling asleep will be absolutely effortless.
Also I noticed the amount of energy taken away from the binge. Someone at work even said that I looked, "as if I got raped," which tells you quite a bit about how my mental state has been affected.
While this is bothersome journey, I embrace the uncomfortableness and move forward.