Days since I have had an orgasm: zero. We had such a lovely evening. Back-to-school night was fine, we had an okay but really enjoyable dinner (I had nothing to drink) and we got back home to catch a little TV and then headed to bed. She was so beautiful. We lit a candle and embraced and talked about what might happen next. We moved slowly and breathed deeply. After probably fifteen or twenty minutes, we decided to connect. I slicked us up with some coconut oil and we assumed one of our favorite comfortable positions, a variation of the scissors position but not quite. We went for probably twenty minutes and it felt really wonderful but I think we were over-lubricated and my erection never got past the 50% mark where it was when we started. Going in soft was by design; I liked the idea of growing inside her. But with all the lube going on I just don’t think we had the friction that was going to allow the proper energy exchange to take place. It felt really good at times, but I was afraid that if I lost any of my erection, that I would not get it back. Hence, there was way too much movement. It was more “mating sex” than it should have been. I attribute this to not being quite hard enough when we started and way too much lubrication. Other than that, I think we had a good chance at a good first session. What amazed me was how out-of-nowhere my orgasm was. One thing I knew was that I was not going to be the one coming during this thing. I wasn’t even fully erect. Slow moving and rocking and just feeling the love and then I start to think: wait, am I getting close here? I pulled out and grabbed the head of my penis to try and calm things down and boom—there it went. I was really let down. I felt like I was starting over and it had been hard enough to get her to this point to being with. It’s so interesting the relationship I have with orgasms now! Being bummed out about it? Isn’t that what we always yearned for? I am resolute to start again because I have had a great week without orgasms. I have lost weight. I feel wonderful. I love my wife. I hope she will start again with me. I want to give her an orgasm to start us off together. I don’t know whether that is such a great idea. For the record, we are brand new to karezza, have been married thirteen years and did not do the exchanges, but have had a great ten days of bonding behaviors. What now?