I don't really feel I deserve much positive feedback right now.
I go through phases where I am non stop on porn for a few days/weeks, then I decide to stop and remarkably.... I do. I don't even struggle, I find myself happier, etc. What I do find is that during this time I still masturbate (But I do so in the normal way... Oh yeah another of my issues is masturbating prone, lying on my stomach effectively and rubbing on the mattress... very bad!).
Anyway as I said, for a time I do really well, and then for what seems like no reason at all... I just fall staight back into it! I just PMO'd now, and am in the 'Feeling awful guilty' stage, which is usually where I find my most determination.
But I don't know how to move forward. Lately I've been more social (especially with girls) than ever before, and I thought maybe, just maybe I could get somewhere!
This may be hard to understand to those of you without a BDSM fetish but... I NEVER masturbate over sex... always over domination/slavery etc.
But when I am in one of my 'No PMO' periods, I find that (with just a little effort) I can masturbate to straight vanilla sex. I want honest answers here so don't sugar coat it but, is this a good sign?
For me the porn isn't the real issue, it's the lack of interest in 'Vanilla Sex' due to excessive porn use. I think if I can overcome the 'Vanilla' problem the porn will subside of its own accord. (P.S I never view, 'Vanilla Porn').
I am kindof at a bit of a loss, I am really struggling with this but just can't seem to work out where the fuck the light at the end of the tunnel is coming from!!
If you've read this far then thank you, and good luck with your own shit, I know how hard it is.