After struggling to deal with feelings of rejection from my spouse over sex and other issues, I decided to broach the topic this past weekend after having received encouragement to do so from this group. Prior to talking to her, I read a couple of books on how to better communicate with a spouse in a non judgmental way which were also key to success. While I was quite afraid to bring up the topic, I was tired of feeling the pain. Thankfully numbing it with PMO was off the table. T
All I can say is WOW! Why did I wait so long to get my feelings on the table? We had the most awesome conversation and opened the door. I told her honestly that I loved her more than anything and that I realized I could withdraw and be a real jerk. I told her I was done acting that way and committed to be an open, empathetic and honest communicator. I was greeted with kindness, understanding and relief on her part. We are connected now in new far more satisfying way. In fact, we are doing a study together on improving our marriage and communication.
Looking back, Reboot was Step 1 for me. I am now into Step 2 which for me is as essential as the reboot. The two were connected for me like a very powerful vicious cycle: feeling rejected, numb the pain with PMO, feeling guilty, numb the pain with PMO, withdrawal, feeling rejected....rinse and repeat.