Shame and Vulnerability

Submitted by woody0294 on
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The information on Reuniting and YBOP has been invaluable for me to realize that there is a major physiological and addictive aspect to PMO. At the end of the day, PMO is a drug. This leaves me with a question...what did I need a drug to do? The answer is numb myself to pain. Below are two great links from a talk by Dr. Brene Brown, a leading researcher on shame and vulnerability. Check them out.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

For me, it boils down to pain. I didn't want to feel pain so the option I took was to numb it with PMO. Turns out PMO or any drug doesn't cure pain, we have to face it, feel it and accept it.

Hope these help.

Woody, Day 174

Comments

Thanks for asking! I am

Thanks for asking! I am doing very well. I seem to have good control over my addiction.

Working on growing as a person. I have been one to hide myself because I have some deep seated issues of low worth. I am working to show more and more of myself as I dismantle false beliefs about who I am and my unworthiness. I also have been working on taking the risk of rejection and being willing to feel the pain. PMO was the tool to numb all the pain. Now I realize that while pain sucks it is not nearly as bad as the consequence of numbing out.

I would like for my wife to know all of me... good, bad and ugly but I am not there yet. Not sure if I can go all the way there. It would really upset her to know about my addiction - even if it is a thing of the past as it now seems to be. But, I am becoming more honest and letting her know more of who I am little by little in other areas.

Interested on your thoughts about this. I am thinking it is probably best to do no harm to her although that will mean keeping secrets.