So I rebooted a while back. Started MOing again and unfortunately let it get a little out of hand. I noticed that my renewed libido had taken a serious dip as a result of fantasizing and edging. So I decided to reboot again. I am in a semi-long distance relationship and I will see my girlfriend on the 27th of this month. Heres the progress so far:
First sign was the loss of morning erections for about 4 days straight (I don't usually get bent out of shape over one or two days, but 4 or 5 in a row usually means somethings up). So I stopped M and did everything I could to purge fantasy from my mind. By day 3 I started getting back my morning and nightly erections. I had consistent strong signs of natural libido which increased to the point that I couldn't take it. Being stubbornly dedicated to no PMO I decided to not masturbate (I really wanted to wait until i was with my girl). Although I still believe I made the right choice, it had some consequences. I ended up with a kind of minor congested blue-balls feeling that lasted for about a day and a half around day 16. After that passed, I noticed that my sensitivity was down and I lost my morning erections again. So the libido has dipped down again and I am once again awaiting its return. Havent really been testing with masturbatory touch too much, because I still have a problem with the art of M without fantasy. One thing that really got to me was watching HBO at a party I was at the other night. It was a made for TV series that had many pornographic scenes. I successfully looked away or closed my eyes for most of the footage, but it wasnt enough to keep the images from burning into my brain. That morning was the first morning I woke up without an erection since I started the re-reboot. Damn TV! I wonder if I can even exist in this pornographic culture. This was just a normal party with people I know. I guess they can watch all of that shit and it doesnt effect their sexual sensitivity, but for me its like a whiff of alchohol for the alchoholic. I had a hard time not fantasizing about the sex scenes. I have used meditaion to help clear my mind, which has helped. I am really doing the best I can here and I only hope that I am ready when I see my girlfriend. I still have a week. I still get semi erections when I text with my girlfriend and we usually dont get to pornographic with our sexting. We just talk about making out and usually leave the rest for the real encounters. I think that my brain might be getting a little confused. Im trying to wire it to real sex, but I don't get to see my GF that often and Im around beautiful women constantly at work, so I think my libido is trying to figure out WTF i am trying to do and where it is supposed to direct its energy. Anyways, still moving along. For the most part, this mini-reboot has worked out well, just hitting a speed bump I think.