Hey everyone, I haven't posted in a while so I thought I would give an update. A few weeks ago I started taking St. John's Wort and I have really been feeling balanced lately. I have MO'd a few times to sensation in the last couple months... about once every 10 days on average I'd say. While I don't want to be a chronic masturbator, I will say that the orgasms haven't been soul destroying like they used to be. By that I mean that after the orgasm I don't seem to have a mental let-down period anymore, I just go back to my normal self, albeit less sexually motivated for a few days. For the new year I want to commit myself to saving orgasms for women and pursuing women instead of getting into lonely habits. At the very least I will transmute my sexual energy into other areas of my life to become a better individual.
Other positive areas of my life: I've been going to the gym now 5 days a week and am taking my shit to the next level. A year ago I couldn't have even dreamed of being as dedicated to working out as I am now. I am really seeing results too. I have lost 30 pounds of fat and built a lot of muscle since I started really hitting the gym at the beginning of this reboot. I'm developing a strong core and have 4 out of my 6 abs visible all the time now. I am finally filling out my 6'0" body with muscle and seem much more dominant.
I guess another thing that I would really stress to anyone starting a reboot is that there is no magic pill. Anything good that happens to you is totally a result of your own resolve to make shit happen. Journal a lot and keep your promises to yourself. This process has made me much more well-rounded and has helped me develop personal discipline like I've never experienced before.
So one of my simplest realizations is that, if you want change in your life, get off your ass and make it happen! I used to be this introverted, awkward, creepy dude who watched a lot of porn. I feel like I'm becoming the shit now, the best version of myself. I don't try to say it in a conceited way, it's just that I've become so much more confident and assertive. But don't get me wrong, I've got a long way to go and I'm going to keep pushing my limits. I've been challenging myself to talk to new people all the time to get beyond approach anxiety. Approach anxiety is still there but it gets easier with every person I make myself talk to.
And for the title of this post, "Congruence," I have been feeling very congruent lately. By that I mean that I have been representing myself on the outside in the same way I feel on the inside, and it is very genuine to people when I can maintain that state. I've been making myself talk to attractive women, and when I'm congruent, my charisma seems to also rise and I get in a zone. It's kind of hard to explain but it's awesome. Social interaction is becoming my new addiction haha. And that's a good thing for me. I've been working on my social skills and now I need to start closing the deal, getting numbers, and dating to find the right girl for me. I had a girlfriend during this reboot but that didn't work out. I can tell these girls like me because of my congruence so I just need to close the deal now. Part of that is not getting my validation from others. Knowing that you are awesome and have a lot to offer the world, fully believing it, and being relaxed, staying congruent.... all those are the keys to success I think with women. I'm always trying to learn more and see what works for me.
My increased social confidence combined with the knowledge I have been taking from self-help books and videos on YouTube has really helped change my life perspective. I have been meditating on positive thoughts to start my day and have a new life philosophy that has broken the door off my old limits. My new philosophy is basically that RIGHT NOW is all we have. So if I see an opportunity, I have to take it. I'm not caring so much anymore what people think of me and I am just following my own desires and goals. Life is short and we will all die soon in the grand scheme of things so there is no point in worrying about all the dumb shit we usually worry about that holds us back from living the life we want to live. We are the masters of our own universe and can do whatever we want to do! I guess fully buying in to these ideas have freed me to new levels of personal growth. It's just a great feeling.
If you're interested in some of the things I've been using for motivation, I watch a lot of videos by Owen from Real Social Dynamics on YouTube. His channel is RSDTyler. Basically he is a self-proclaimed pick-up artist. While it sounds kind of sleazy, he really is a well-rounded person. His charm and wit and commitment to challenge himself to get the things he wants out of life are what I respect about him. He is a crazy dude haha. I've learned a lot about self-actualization and commitment to growth from this guy. I want to develop social skills like he has. Also, I've been watching Elliott Hulse's videos on YouTube. He has a few channels as well and I really like his philosophy on life. He incorporates many eastern thoughts and is passionate about helping people become the strongest versions of themselves. His channels are Elliott Hulse and strengthcamp. And of course, I love Eckhart Tolle's philosophy about present moment awareness and living in the now. Feel free to ask me anything. I'm always open for whatever you guys are thinking.
Also, I have seriously curtailed the amount of bud I was smoking. I felt like I was out of control of my behaviors and mind while being high all the time. So I created a new rule for myself so I can only smoke socially and very infrequently, which forces me to be around people instead of staying at home all the time. I feel like that has contributed to some of my success because I have the mental energy and time to focus on what is important to me.