Playing Skip Bo with Isadora. I need to get my 10 off, she leaves a 9 in play. But I don't see it! I am so concerned about my need for a 5 that I don't see the gift she has given.....see a parallel?
Away for 2 nights....alone in a hotel....Thursday flipping through the TV channels. I see a naked woman dancing and stop to look...looked for a while....saw her fuck a couple of times...got hard and left it alone. Friday I'm pissed off when those images come back to me. I'd rather remember my Isadora's goodbye kisses....yes, several....some lingering....not a single fast peck of obligation.
How do single people get past this? You guys are amazing.
Got home yesterday and I was in her bed this last night and this morning. I'm feeling some progress in appreciating being with her, close, and not expecting more....being happy and appreciative for what I have....not obsessing about her passivity or why am I with a woman who will let me touch her but doesn't seem to want to touch me....let it go. Enjoy the present and stop worrying about what may or may not be.
Helen Fisher (Anthropology, Rutgers) has written about dopamine and love