21 Days

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Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on
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Marnia asked, "How ya doin'?"
By day 3 after my May Day O, and up to day 8 I was crazy talking in my head and thinking divorce. Now at day 21 I'm definately calmed down. Day 16 and 17 she came to my bed and day 20 I was in hers. Gawd it helps. [quote=Marnia]Just know...
that things will change by Day 15.[/quote]
I'm a month now On Strike. Completely UnRuniting. I am checking and measuring my reponse. I am only initiating Bonding Behaviors as rewards for her "good" behavior....shamooing. I've given up all hope of trying to change her. Just creating space for whatever. Not bringing up The Relationship (she's asked about cuddling and says she feels unattractive). Being present, available....

I thought that was interesting, because it's one of the qualities you "do" best, AC. Keep on working from your strength. The oracle also said, "desire for a meaningless triumph" would hold you back in easing the "tension in your relationship."[/quote]
PS: been drinking, a light buzz and I'm horny, feeling more sexual than ever in the last month, old behavior, oogling and grabbed her ass once.....think I'll stop and let it wear off. It'll take an hour.
Much Love



Hey AC whad up? Happy Saturday to you. Sounds like you are making progress. How was the balance when the two of you were satisfied intimately and happy? Would you say she is 100% ok with the relationship how it is? Good idea to let go of changing her, my problem is he didn't show me an accurate picture of who he was, I mattered more to him. The security of marriage affords him the comfort of me still being there whether he makes the effort to be a part in this relationshi or simply consider only what he wishes to do for himself, when the promise was to honor and cherish. You don't disregard the concerns of those you honor or cherish! Do we? Read the defiition. Our situation is similar, our needing more love and attention has created the exact opposite. For me leading to resentment . You don't sleep in the same bed? It seems to be forbidden here for me to not sleep with him good thing too. Hang in there, we should compare notes gotta go cook spaghetti now sorry if I rambled in no direction : )

For some, pleasure is a fever they can't shake. For others, it's a disease they cannot seem to catch. ~Nathaniel LeTonnerre, translated

Making Progress

I dunno....feel like I still need to unhook. Almost a year and a half on this path and all I've got is: I don't really want to cum.....well, and some pretty cool info and relationships.....and clearer vision....and a desire for more clarity, and....
I've been using porn and my wife as medicine for our entire relationship. It's never been balanced and how can there be any intimacy when somebody is using? Happy? for a day or so after having sex.
I'd say she's 'bout 85% happy with what's up. I'm not talking to her about The Relationship unless she brings it up. I'm not going to ask her to rate what's going on for her unless I can work it into something she brings up. I know she likes me not hassling her for sex or bitching about The Relationship.
Honor and Cherish....I loved my drug. A lot of my behavior looked like I cherished her but the bottom line was I needed a fix. And lawd, I've been resentful.
[quote]It seems to be forbidden here for me to not sleep with him good thing too.[/quote]How so?
Low dope

I asked

"So how ya doin' with me not asking for anything from you and not talking about The Relationship?" "Lovin' it!" she answers a little too enthusiastically. Now I know this is about me and finding healthy ways to get my dope, but I was kinda hopin' for......?
So anyways, we pulled weeds, showered (I didn't ask her wash my.... or me her....), we got in the hot tub and my plan to turn away from her nakedness is out the window, gone.
Toweling off she says, "You wanna have some birthday sex." "Can you take it rough?" as I kiss her neck with my 2 day growth of beard. "Nope, and I don't want to wait for you to shave."
My birthday's Tuesday I'm gonna have smooth cheeks til then.


That really is a bit naughty of her...to get your dopamine up and then have an excuse. That's why we subscribe to the "all you can eat" of affection diet. No one has to walk around with his...tongue hanging out. Wink

Ya Know

there just might be some health 'round here 'cause, as nice as it was to see her naked and hear that offer, and the dope didn't spike 'cause I'm not seeking anything, just rollin' along, still waitin'. I shaved and laughed about it. I'm a little concerned 'cause there is melancholy. I'd like more joy. Right now it seems I'm going to find that somewhere else rather than hanging around here.....dunno....what I mean is, my joy is not in waitng on her. Engaging her is good, hangin' with the One Who Blesses Us All is good...

Toweling off she says, "You

Toweling off she says, "You wanna have some birthday sex." "Can you take it rough?" as I kiss her neck with my 2 day growth of beard. "Nope, and I don't want to wait for you to shave."

You are accepting table scraps from this person. She will never respect you in this position.

Courage is knowing what not to fear.


leaves ya kind of hungry. Of course, we are only talking about one aspect of a long and deep relationship.
"No More Mr. Nice Guy" arrives Tuesday. Lama Yeshe, Marnia, Robert Glover.....what a mix!